Ponygirl Ponderings

New Beginnings

2009-01-06T23:09:00.003-06:00

As this is a new year, and I have been advised that because of the name of this blog, I am blocked from some people's computers due to the, um, alternate meaning of Ponygirl, I have decided to take a step sideways and start a new blog.

Please be advised that henceforth, I will be travelling about the Blogiverse as Ponita from http://ponitaslife.blogspot.com. Ponygirl has now been retired out to pasture.

Please check out the new blog and if I am on your blogroll, a change of address is required. Thanks so much!

Ice Fog and Sundogs

2009-01-05T20:54:00.003-06:00

From Wikipedia:

Ice fog is any kind of fog where the droplets have frozen into extremely tiny crystals of ice in midair. Generally this requires temperatures at or below −35 °C (−30 °F), making it common only in and near the Arctic and Antarctic regions. It is most often seen in urban areas where it is created by the freezing of water vapor present in automobile exhaust and combustion -products from heating and power generation. Urban ice fog can become extremely dense and will persist day and night until the temperature rises.

Here in Winterpeg, we have experienced ice fog from all the cars during severe cold weather when there is no air movement. Now, we like it when there is no wind, but it does create rather adverse driving conditions when you can't see the car in front of you and the road is polished to pure glass by the spinning of tires as people try to get moving once the light turns green. The exhaust from the cars just hangs in the air, obscuring your vision and creating plenty of work for the local body shops.

From Wikipedia:

A sun dog or sundog (scientific name parhelion, plural parhelia, for "beside the sun") is a common bright circular spot on a solar halo. It is an atmospheric optical phenomenon primarily associated with the reflection or refraction of sunlight by small ice crystals making up cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. Often, two sun dogs can be seen (one on each side of the sun) simultaneously.

Sundogs cause us Winterpeggers to cringe. When we see those, we know that is is f*cking cold outside! They only seem to occur when the temps are well below -20C. They are quite beautiful, though, especially when they are rainbow coloured like they were today.... it was -33 when I was driving to work just before 11:00 a.m. The sundogs were large on either side of the sun, quite colourful, with a rather elongated (up and down)shape.

From Wikipedia:

Radiation frost (also called hoar frost or hoarfrost) refers to the white ice crystals, loosely deposited on the ground or exposed objects, that form on cold clear nights when radiation losses into the open skies cause objects to become colder than the surrounding air.

I love hoar frost! It dresses up all the trees and fences, and anything else left sitting outside in the winter. When the sun shines on it, it glitters like diamonds in the light, giving the world the look of being coated heavily in fairy dust.

I could, however, totally live without the temperatures that drop below -15. I love four seasons, and I do enjoy the snow.... but when it is colder than a witch's t*t, it really makes me wonder how we puny humans survive this crap.

Isn't it spring yet?

KANGAROO

2009-01-05T10:01:00.001-06:00

Captive Camera

2009-01-03T00:32:00.005-06:00

Christmas Day afternoon/evening was spent at my niece's house, with family gathering to visit, have a wonderful potluck dinner and exchange a few small gifts.

My brother-in-law and his girlfriend were in from BC, so it was great to see him again and to meet her. My nephew and his wife came from Calgary, where they had moved in September.

My youngest sister and her hubbie were there. My niece's in-laws as well. Plus the two great nieces, ages almost six and just past two. Twelve of us all together. A lovely size for a gathering.... not all the family to be sure, but those in Winnipeg at the time.

Seeing as how I had worked 14 of the 16 days prior to Christmas (up to and including Christmas Eve), I was dead dog tired by around 8:00 p.m. and toddled off home to crash. And forgot my camera on the table next to the couch. When I got home (all of a three minute drive), there was a message on my answering machine that my phone was being held captive.

WTF? I looked at the cell phone in my hand.... thinking, 'someone had a few too many pieces of fruitcake or something.' So I called and my sister answered. It wasn't my phone.... it was my camera that was being held captive. Okay... whatever.... I would come back and pick it up in the next day or two.

So I did. And then, once I got it home, I had to look at what was on it, as everyone was laughing and giggling in the background when I had called about it that day. This is what my family does on Christmas Day, in the presence of small children, with their toys:

Needless to say, I chuckled out loud when I saw these! Gotta love a family as warped as this!

The Year That Was....

2008-12-31T18:29:00.007-06:00

Well... 2008 has been quite the year for me!

January saw me venture into online dating. There are supposed to be plenty of fish in the sea, and in February/March, I thought I had reeled in a keeper. That, however, did not pan out in my favour, so the line went back in the pond....

March was the month that my ex finally got around to giving me the $$ buy-out from our property division. This meant there were a few things I could now afford to do, number one being look for a house!

April saw me buy my very first house, owned only by me (well, me and the bank, but whatever..). It meant another move (in July) a year after the one following the demise of my marriage. But this move was exciting and uneventful (thankfully!).

It also meant buying new livingroom furniture, new washer and dryer and painting the livingroom (the first in a very long list of anticipated home renos that will take me years to complete... only to start all over again as the first renos will then be outdated.... *sigh*).

May saw my horse go to my best friend for a couple of months' further education, as I could foot the bill for that for a while. He's such a fun horse to ride and tries so very hard when you are teaching him something new. Thunder had fun and I know my friend did too! This is what she does for a living, but she really has fun with the horses she knows well.

June saw the addition of Pips (aka That Damn Cat) to the family. BB, the old kitty codger in the house, took her appearance in stride with nary a whisker out of place. Zoë was so relaxed about it, it was silly. Pips, on the other hand, was the one hissing and growling for weeks on end every time she saw BB. She absolutely loves the dog, however, and snuggles up to Zoë whenever possible. The dog tolerates her with an air of resigned mild interest.

June also saw another fish pulled from the sea... but that one turned out to be of little interest... didn't have the strength and spunk to make it game enough for me....

July was the month my divorce went through. That is one chapter of my life I am glad is closed....

September, the fridge that came with my house (a relic from the 80's, I swear! it was Harvest Gold.... ugh) decided to become incontinent and piddled on the kitchen floor with great regularity. It did, however, continue to keep things cold and frozen where they should be cold and frozen. However, it was not long before I grew tired of having a towel living on my kitchen floor to catch the effluent. So a brand new fridge found its way into my kitchen (and onto my credit card...) and the old one lived on the deck until carted away to wherever old, leaky fridges go.

At the end of September came another catch of potential interest from the fish pond. This One seemed quite game although very Busy. But I was patient and we slowly seemed to be moving along. And I was pleased.

There have been a few bites throughout the year, on the line I have cast into that pond over and over again. Most are only that - the barest nibble. At times, when I take a look at what has grabbed onto the hook, I have to cut it loose and try again.... and make sure my toes aren't near the edge... there's sharks in them thar waters!

In October, finally... I underwent surgery to remove my gallbladder. It had been plaguing me with belly aches and hot air for several years, defying diagnosis until finally viewed via MRI - twice. The offending organ was removed via a little hole just above my belly button. I am toying with the idea of a belly button piercing to hide that thing - makes me look like I have two!

Just six days after my surgery, That Damn Cat began her escapades which resulted in a huge vet bill for emergency xrays, surgery, drugs, etc. She needs to learn to be more discretionary about what she consumes. And to not have a totally hissy fit when confined to an entire bedroom, attempting escape through the heating ducts.... That became a costly, messy affair that had me at my wit's end until she was safely extracted from said duct in the basement. Totally unscathed... just very tired. Damn cat....

November, there were spiders in the snow (I kid you not... really) and general evolutions in the goings on with the Busy One. As the month progressed, he began to draw away....

Early December... the Busy One decides he doesn't have the time or energy for a relationship but still wants to be friends... yeah... riiiight.... and the line snapped, with that fish plunging back into the sea, never to be heard from again.

Then, out of the blue, from another pond, comes a tiny nibble.... an interesting nibble.... one that continues to nibble as I wriggle the line.... hmmmmm.

Just before Christmas, as I am working extra shifts, trading shifts and ending up with a schedule that sees me working 14 shifts in 16 days (five on, one off, three on, one off, six on)... the week before Christmas, I take my truck in for winter servicing, an oil change, and could you please adjust my parking brake as it doesn't hold worth a damn anymore?

Well... was I in for a rude surprise! The rear differential was leaking - blown seal - into the brakes. So guess what.... I had a huge bill just before Christmas... one that I certainly did not need. But the truck works just fine now....

Christmas Day I was so tired I couldn't get out the door until 4:00 p.m. to go to my niece's house for dinner and gift exchanging. Had a great time, as always, but was totally fried and left for home around 8:00 p.m. Such a party pooper! But I left my camera behind by accident... well, that will be another post soon. They had a good laugh adding to the shots already captured on it.

It is now New Year's Eve. I have spend a couple of hours chatting with my fish in that pond. I worked today and have tomorrow off. I plan on watching tv for a while tonight. Not sure if I will make it to midnight, but that is not a big deal. It is already the New Year in a good portion of the planet.

I hope all of you out there in the Blogiverse have wonderful New Years, wherever you are. May 2009 be full of the wonders of life, the joys of living and the riches that come with a heart full of love.

Let's see your score for THIS one!

2008-12-30T22:36:00.003-06:00

HA! SHOW ME WHAT KIND OF NERD YOU ARE!

Short-lived...

2008-12-29T10:05:00.002-06:00

Boxing Day was a lovely day... with a high temp of -6C. So lovely that myself, Zoë, my sister and her dogs trucked around the dog park for an hour. The dogs had a blast running through the snow and playing, with no winter clothing on.

Today, as I get ready to take Zoë for a walk, it is -21... but feels like -30 because of the wind.

Layer upon layer... just to survive a trundle so the dog can run and burn off some steam. Sometimes I wish I had a 10 lb dog instead of a 100 lb dog - so that she could run around the house for exercise when it is this cold.

*sigh... very big sigh*

A 50/50 Chance...

2008-12-28T19:21:00.000-06:00

You Are: 50% Dog, 50% Cat

You are a nice blend of cat and dog.

You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful.

And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.

Are You More Cat or Dog?

They Must Have Looked In My Window....

2008-12-28T19:14:00.002-06:00

Your Ideal Pet is a Big Dog

You're both energetic, affectionate, and a bit goofy.

And neither of you seem to mind very slobbery kisses!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

Because they would have seen this:

Am I just a mish-mash?

2008-12-28T01:43:00.001-06:00

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people.

Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others.

You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others.

You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Confidence, not Depends

2008-12-28T01:23:00.001-06:00

Your Underwear Says You're Confident

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble!

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

A Little Bit Naughty?

2008-12-28T01:15:00.001-06:00

You Are 70% Normal About Sex

You're so normal about sex, it's a little scary.

Your sexual attitudes and experiences match up with most other people.

Like everyone else, you're a little naughty and a little traditional.

You enjoy sex, but you're not a total freak about it!

Are You Normal About Sex?

Perhaps, if I actually had a sex life, I would have a higher percentage of normal????

Positively Balmy

2008-12-26T18:30:00.004-06:00

It would seem that the cold spell has ended... well, at least for the time being. It is a tropical -8C outside right now and has been all day. It hasn't moved from that temperature since I got up this morning and it is now 6:30 p.m.

So either the weather gods are looking upon us a bit more favourably, or the weathernetwork thingy on my computer taskbar is stuck.

I prefer to think of it as favourable. ;-)

Being a balmy day, it was time for a trip to the dog park. My sister and her two pooches joined us. It was warm enough that no one had to wear boots except us humans. The dogs tore around and had a blast and we walked for almost an hour! Even though I take Zoë out every day for a walk, some are quite short - like when it is -46 with the wind and even bundled from head to toe, I just can't stand to be outside for much longer than 10 minutes.

Can I put in an order for an early and relatively dry spring, please? I am tired of winter already....

Merry Christmas To All

2008-12-24T00:42:00.001-06:00

MY BLOG IS FROZEN....

2008-12-15T22:11:00.003-06:00

So I will be visiting warmer climes until
I thaw a bit from the sub-zero temps
in this neck of the universe...

Just Chillin'

2008-12-12T08:24:00.004-06:00

I probably won't be around for a while....

I have too much to do right now....

Between getting ready for Christmas...

Working extra shifts to pay the bills....

And just needing to get away from the computer for a while....

Cuz I spend way too much of my time in front of this infernal machine....

I am spent...

And not just $$$...

My life away from this thing is not what I want it to be...

Is not what I need it to be....

And for the most part, that is out of my control....

So it is time to just chill... kick back.... take stock of things...

Figure out where my life is leading me...

GAK!

2008-12-07T21:17:00.002-06:00

IT'S A GREMLIN IN A BABUSHKA!!!!

What An Ordeal!

2008-12-07T00:18:00.018-06:00

Saturday morning, when I took Zoe out for her morning walk, it was -24C......

There was, however, a wind from the north.....

this isn't called Winterpeg for nothing......

which gave us a windchill of -31C!

Zoe wore her stylish winter coat by Ruffwear, made of tough Cordura Nylon in two tone black and royal blue, with reflective piping on the sides, and sporting a chest protector with stretch, quick-release straps. Her booties are Muttluks, with genuine leather soles and a warm fleece lining.

My outerwear, however, consisted of a gazillion layers in an effort to avoid total body frostbite within the first two minutes of exposure to the very nasty elements.

In no particular order (I am sure you will be able to pick them out in the photo above), I piled on (and this is over top of my bra and panties) (and, no, there will not be any photos of that) a pair of polar fleece longjohns, a long sleeved t-shirt, regular cotton socks, a pair of big wooly socks, a polar fleece pullover, wind pants lined with fleece, a tuque, a double layer fleece scarf, a down parka with hood, snowmobile mitts with glove liners, and Sorel Glacier boots, cold rated to -100.

I did not wear the cat. She has the brains to stay inside the house at this time of year. (Let's see who can pick her out of all those clothes!)

All this just to take the dog out for a poop and a bit of a romp in the snow. She is only getting one good walk a day when it is this cold, so it needs to be one where she can run and play.

The tuque was pulled down over my eyebrows. The scarf was doubled over and pulled up over my nose. I was completely unrecognizable. I could have robbed a bank and no one would be able to give the police a description except that I have blue eyes....

I think we were outside for all of 20 minutes.... it took me longer to get the dog and myself dressed!

I think I heard something about another three months of this.... GAK!

NO TIME....

2008-12-04T22:27:00.004-06:00

Isn't that a line from an old Guess Who song?

No time left for you....

Well, my new man friend and I sat and ate nachos this evening and yakked - about all kinds of stuff, most of it just silly, day to day stuff, nothing important.

But we did get to the important stuff - like where things were going. And despite the fact that I like this guy and would like to see things go somewhere, at this point in time, that is not going to happen.

As he says, he has to get his sh*t together a lot more before he can deal with starting a relationship. And, he says, smiling sadly, he's got way too much sh*t!

He is taking a bunch of courses at the local community college, sponsored by his employer. He figured it would be a walk in the park, because he already knew about 80% of what he needed to know for his job. Well, it turns out there is all kinds of content in the curriculum that he doesn't need but is being taught anyway. So it has turned out to be a hell of a lot of work. And, of course, more stress.

Plus the ex is a handful, what with being very uncooperative with family mediation.... trying to get things settled to where they can both carry on with their lives and have the issue of the kids in a routine that works for both of them.

At this point he just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and doesn't have the time or energy to put into a relationship.

So he realizes that this has been unfair, with me waiting to see what will happen. He has been open and honest with me, talked with much candor about how things are and how he feels.

He doesn't like this either but at this point, can't do much about it.

So we are going to just be friends, and keep in touch on occasion.

I was actually surprised - we both were - at how easy it was to talk about this and just make a decision on what to do with the situation. We both needed something a little more concrete and we both agreed on the same thing. And despite the fact that the decision made wasn't what I wanted, it was a relief to just make one.... he said the same thing.

Who know what life will be like, say, six months from now. We may both still be single and then he may be in a position to put the effort into a real relationship. Or we may both find someone else, and just remain friends.

Hard to say.... only time will tell.

NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS...

2008-11-30T16:56:00.005-06:00

Well, it seems I jumped the gun somewhat this weekend.

I assumed, because my new man friend wasn't answering my IMs, that he was ignoring me and didn't want much to do with me.

Turns out I was very wrong.... and I am embarrassed about it too, as I should be.

He is using a work computer (notebook) at school, that they have loaned to him. The courses he is taking are all work related and they are paying his tuition and fees, so they let him have a laptop to take with him.

This past week, he was in the office and they did some upgrades to it, but neglected to tell him that now he doesn't get any of the pop-up boxes that IMs show up in. (For security reasons, of course...) So despite the fact that we had been IMing in the past while he was at school and often in the evenings, he was so busy the past few days, he didn't really pay attention to the fact that I hadn't contacted him via that route.

So me getting all pissed off at him for ignoring my IMs was completely out in left field, but neither of us could have known that. He was at work today and found the memo on his desk about the upgrades. Looks like in the near future, he won't be able to access MSN at all on that laptop.

Looks like in the near future, he will be buying his own computer for home so this won't be an issue.

But we talked on the phone and got things all straightened out and all is well. And yes, I did apologize to him... several times...

Silly me.... and damn those computer geeks at his work for screwing things up for us! How to ruin a relationship when it has barely started....

That's The End Of That....

2008-11-29T21:31:00.004-06:00

How can you grow a friendship, or any kind of a relationship, if you don't put some effort into it?

You gotta keep in contact on some level, to nurture things, to get to know someone.

If you just don't have the time, or the interest, then be honest and fess up. And let it go....

Have the balls to be a man and say this isn't right or isn't the right time or whatever....

Don't string me along.

Cuz I just cut the string and walked away.

FACES FROM THE PAST

2008-11-23T19:36:00.013-06:00

Silas. Love of my life as far as my pets go. This cat came into my life in 1979, shortly after a cat that I had was put down suffering from diabetes and kidney failure. Silas was supposed to be dead. Someone had found (what they thought was) a dead cat and scooped up the body and took it to the closest vet clinic to be disposed of. Turns out the little guy was alive, although a bit hypothermic from the cold - it was February in Winnipeg, after all. He had been hit by a car (in the head, judging from the swelling and dried blood and broken teeth). When they warmed him up, he woke up and started purring. I don't think he stopped for the next 18 years. He was so handsome, with his white eye liner, freckled nose and ears and his wonderful personality! This cat loved everyone. He was extremely affectionate and trusting, and not too bright. But considering he had his brain cells scrambled early in life (the vet figured he was about 6 months old when he was supposed to have died), he was an amazing hunter - guess those instincts were not part of the scrambled bits! He never did figure out how to get down a tree, though. There were many times when I had to stand under the tree branch and catch him. He didn't understand that cats are not squirrels and can't climb head first down a tree - so he always got stuck. But would gladly jump into my arms, trusting me to catch him (thank gawd I always did!) and never using his claws. Sweet, sweet Silas. He went deaf in his old age and became very frail, but would never jump if you surprised him or woke him up - he would just blink at you and chirrup a hello.

This young fella is JJ (registered name is Smartest Play Olena - Quarter Horse gelding). In this picture he is two. He is at his first horse show and just won his first ribbon - out of a class of 11, he got 5th! Pretty damn good for a guy who didn't know what the hell he was doing! Very calm and laid back, he is now partnered with a 10 year old boy who is a timid rider. And I know the family so I still get to see him! He's a sweetheart.

This is Sehra (pronounced 'Sarah' - so I like to be different - whatever!). She (and her sister below) were my barn cats when I was still married and living on a hobby farm. Got them as pipsqueak little kittens from a girlfriend's barn and they grew to be huge (14 lbs each trim fighting weight), excellent mousers and really good company. Both of them would go walking with me on the farm, even if it meant slogging through bodies of standing water. (It's pretty funny to see two cats up to their armpits in the water while the 100 lb dog is trying to find a way around it!) Sehra caught this rat one day - the only one I ever saw on the farm - and was very proud to show it to me, but then just walked away and left me with the carcass. So I put it on top of the wishing well in the back yard and let the crows take it for a meal - they loved finding little bodies on there - the take-out restaurant for the birds! Whatever the cats didn't eat ended up on the wishing well for the birds to enjoy. Sehra loved to be carried around and in the winter would climb up the back of my big parka to sit in my hood. From there, she would often walk onto one of the horses' backs to sit perched on a big, warm bum - nice vantage point I am sure!

This is Emmie, Sehra's sister. A lovely brown tabby who could snag anything out of the air. Many times I watched her hunting on the farm, flying through the air after dragonflies or birds. One day, she had captured a rather plump mouse and was having a bit of fun with it. She lay in the grass, with the mouse sitting up on its haunches in front of her. The mouse would gnash its teeth and flail in her direction with its tiny front paws. Emmie would then bat the thing a few feet away, watch it tumble ass over tea kettle, and wander over to do it all over again. The mouse never did try to run away. It became lunch.

This is Sehra and Emmie as babies - I think they were about four months old in this shot. They did everything together. They are still on the farm with my ex. I miss them...

This is Western Zip (aka Zip or Zippy Pony or Zippy Doodle when he's being an airhead), a registered Appendix Quarter Horse (which means he is half Quarter Horse and Half Thoroughbred) gelding. One of the smoothest and most talented horses I ever owned and rode - a sweet guy but too excitable and nervous in the show ring for what I was looking for, so he now lives with a girlfriend who is doing barrel racing with him, which suits him to a T!

Liberty - a little (and I mean almost small enough that I could touch my heels under her when I rode!) grade (meaning unregistered and possibly mixed breed) Quarter Horse mare. She bucked me off one fine fall day, in the throws of one of her early heat cycles as a barely two year old - just as I was swinging my leg up across her back (so I didn't stand a chance, the little witch! and I have the scars to prove it...). She was such a teenager then! But now is a solid, wonderful horse for a teenaged girl - they are absolutely smitten with each other and go everywhere and do everything together - a great match!

Ah... Joe... sweet old guy. He was my ex's first riding horse. He's a registered Shire (breed of draft horse) who weighs one ton (no word of a lie!) but will do absolutely whatever you ask of him. He has the most gorgeous blue eyes, as you can see in the picture below. He slobbers madly when eating apples, so only give the first one by hand! His feet are the size of dinner plates. Check out his fuzzy slippers!

Isn't that a beautiful eye?

Ginger - a registered Paint mare (solid) who had the misfortune of aborting her foal while in her initial under-saddle training - we didn't know she was pregnant - which caused her quite a bit of discomfort. A very solidly built mare who ended up moving to Minnesota.

This is Coal - he is my ex's current riding horse. He's from a PMU farm (google that if you don't know what it is) and is amazing. He is about 16 hands in height (which would make him about 5'4" at the shoulder) but weighs in at about 1700 lbs. He is a mix of Percheron, Thoroughbred, Quarter Horse and Clydesdale. He is solid but not drafty in appearance and is fabulous to ride. Smooth and powerful and extremely sensitive and responsive, all of which are unfortunately wasted as my ex is not a good rider and Coal's talents are beyond him. Coal has the temperament of a Golden Retriever and comes when he is called - at a full out gallop, no less! Quite impressive to see.

My little Barley - he was supposed to be my show horse but he died of colic a couple of weeks before he turned one. You never met a more laid back, quiet and unflappable little guy. He would have been very stout and quite tall, and would have been a wonderful all around horse, if he got anything at all from both of his parents. His death saddened me horribly - such a little trouper through the colic episode, but he twisted his gut and would not survive the trip to Saskatoon for the surgery (which I couldn't afford anyways - not at min. $5K!) so I had to make the decision to have him put down. I wept many tears for my Barley Boy.

Strawberry Daiquri - aka Daq - my very first horse. A lovely, talented, stout little registered Paint mare who has more get up and go than the EverReady Bunny. We learned so much together and shared the same birthday. She loved mini donuts and sweet potatoes, nectarines and apples. She would fall asleep with her nose on the farrier's (guy who shoes and trims horses' feet) back. She now lives in Red Lake, Ontario, with her daughter and the father of that daughter (who is no longer a stallion as he was gelded [neutered] a couple of years ago). She is going to turn 19 in February next year and is still going strong.

This is Jake. He was a rescue from San Diego, California. One day when I was living down there he showed up at the stable where I boarded my horse (Daq), on death's doorstep from starvation. He was half bald - most of the hair on his body had fallen out from untreated allergies and he had worn down most of his front teeth from years of chewing on his itchy skin. He spent 6 years with me (my vet estimated his age at eight when I took him in) and was the absolute best dog ever! He was so happy and would do anything I asked - even getting in the tub on his own for a bath, despite disliking getting wet. As he lost his hearing around the age of 12, I taught him hand signals for all the commands I used. He would frequently turn and look for me to see if I was saying anything to him, to make sure he didn't miss anything. Definitely would have loved to have gotten him as a puppy - I can only imagine how great of a dog he would have been without all the trauma he suffered before he came into my life.

There are a lot of animals who preceded this bunch, but I don't have any pictures on my computer of them. I got my first kitten as a Christmas present when I was seven and have never been without at least one animal in my life since then.

The current ones have all been posted about in previous posts here: Thunder, my horse, Zoe the Bullmastiff, and the two cats, BB (the old man) and Pips (That Damn Cat!). I can guarantee there will be a lot more in the future too. I cannot imagine my life or my house without some furry, four footed creature sharing time and space with me.

2008-11-16T21:20:00.004-06:00

A day, a good day.... spent with my friend.... one spent eating, talking, laughing, touching....

One where we spoke of time and children, commitment and learning, giving and taking...

Of lessons learned and bridges crossed....

Of paths unknown and futures unseen....

Of dreams and reality....

Of possibilities....

Of directions we each want to head in....

Finding we may be wandering the same way....

Willing to travel the road together, as friends and companions...

And to discover if there is more for us ahead....

It was a very good day.

Giving For All The Right Reasons

2008-11-13T13:54:00.004-06:00

I wept openly while watching this video. What an amazing father this man is, giving his son all the physical freedoms that he cannot do. This is LOVE.

Looking Forward To More Of This....

2008-11-12T12:17:00.004-06:00

Thunder in snow a couple of years ago.

In case you can't read that thermomenter, it say -25C.....

Hoar frost is so beautiful....

HALP! Iz stuck an can't getz out!

SnoNoze

This one says -36C.... BBBRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

PATIENTLY WAITING.....

2008-11-08T21:26:00.005-06:00

The end of September saw the introduction of someone new to my life. It is now November, and I am patiently waiting, to know what potential this new person may have.

Our lives have parallelled in a number of ways, at a number of times. We have an understanding, a very good one, of where we have each been, what we have gone through. Not just past experiences in relationships, the parallels also reach into activities and interests.

We are alike in many ways, in personality traits, in beliefs, in needs and desires. I do not know at this time if those likenesses are a good thing. Only time will be able to ascertain that. But it does make him feel like a kindred spirit. Will that create a stronger bond? Or only serve to show that sameness is not the best thing.

He is stretched thin right now.... at a time when changes swirl all around him. He has four children, two of whom are very young and require more attention and patience than the older, adult two. But he loves them all dearly - they are his life in a big way. He also has a difficult ex to deal with, her mental illness issues to circumvent to lessen the effect on the little ones.

Add to this, a fulltime compressed college curriculum entirely sponsored by his employer. He applies himself with great fervor and his marks tell the tale of intelligence, drive and responsibility. For completion of this course will further his career.

Then there is me. There is the attraction I feel for him, the affinity that exists. We have spent enough time together, over the past six weeks, for me to know I want to take this to the next level. I want to see what could happen. I have not felt this for quite some time now, and would savour the opportunity to let someone into my heart.

Only he is taking time, over this weekend, to re-evaluate himself, to see where he needs to go, to try and rejuvenate from the burn-out he is feeling. The candle has been burned at both ends for the past couple of months for him and he is feeling quite singed.

I do not know where he will go with his re-evaluation.... I do not know whether that will preclude any furthering of what has just been started. Will he just need time to get through school, get back to the regular routine of work, kids and a social life? Will he feel the need to pull away, to put this aside and leave me where I stand, helpless to do anything but give him time and space?

There are emotions stirring in me for this man. But what we have experienced together so far has been to simply enjoy each other's company, talk and laugh, hang out a bit. It has been slow, which is probably a good thing, for my tendency is to proceed at the speed of light, with intensity and passion, letting the headrush and heartrush dictate where things go. He is much more cautious, wanting things to happen when he is sure about where he wants it to go, and not wanting to rush. It is important to him to be respectful, to not fly headlong into something he is not entirely sure of.

There is communication, spoken, written, all with openness and honesty, hesitation and uncertainty, all of which are building trust and caring between us. But his uncertainty in this, in how much he has taken on with work and school and kids, and now with the possibility of a new relationship added to the mix, all this creates uncertainty in me.

So I have to bide my time, to wait and see, to be there, where he can see me, but not be intrusive, be understanding and patient... waiting....

Seasonal Change

2008-11-06T11:59:00.001-06:00

On Monday this week, Winnipeg set a record high - we hit 18.8C on November 3rd, a temperature not seen since 1903. Not bad for a place with the same kind of climate as Siberia!

Today, however, when I came home from work near midnight, this is what greeted me when I stepped outside:

We aren't in Kansas anymore, Toto..... I think we just landed in Siberia for real! Ack!

Zoe, however, was quite pleased to see that the freezing rain and sleet we had earlier in the day had given over to white stuff on the ground, which she loves to play in and eat. Below she is grazing on the snow beside the sandbox in the back yard.

Tomorrow we are apparently in the market for another 5 - 10 cm of the white stuff. I had been planning on going to visit my horse since it is a day off for me, but considering it is a 50 minute trip, I will have to see what the weather is doing before I even think of heading out to the barn.

Bummer.....

Sunday Silliness...

2008-11-02T08:12:00.001-06:00

see more puppies

ROCKIN' ROLLIN' REALLY GOOD TIME!!!!

2008-10-26T10:23:00.004-05:00

Crank those speakers, fellow bloggers, cuz this one NEEDS to be loud!

Ray Charles, Jerry Lee Lewis, Fats Domino
Uploaded by Hanvak

REPARO! (waves wand madly about...)

2008-10-22T16:12:00.007-05:00

Well, I have started on the repairs to the house. After the fiasco with getting that damn cat (sweet little Pips) out of the heating duct (scroll down a few posts and read all about it if you want to pee your pants laughing!), during which I trashed the livingroom wall in one corner and ripped out part of the basement ceiling, I am seriously wishing for a magic wand ala Harry Potter so I can get it done with no fuss or muss.

I used metal duct tape on the two ducts in the livingroom wall that I cut into. Since I couldn't tell which duct the cat was in, I naturally had to cut both open because the first one was (you guessed it!) the wrong one. At least the metal tape is a pretty permanent fix and I won't have to replace those sections of duct. Because that would likely entail ripping out even more of the wall and I ain't goin' there! That is too much like work...

My girlfriend and her hubby built a house last year and had some pieces of drywall lying around their basement, so she kindly donated enough to allow me to patch everything up for only the cost of the drywall screws and the mud to fill the cracks.

Considering how much that damn cat cost me, it's a good thing I don't have to pay for someone to fix the mess I made. But I had no idea drywall was so heavy! In the past, I have only handled quite small pieces.

The ceiling piece needed to be 45 x 80 inches. Well, that size, which Girlfriend just happened to have, wouldn't fit in my Blazer, so we had to cut it into two pieces. Which were not halves, of course.

Now, the ceiling needs to be covered up asap, as I figure because Pips is running around and playing again after her ordeal, she will soon look up and realize there is a jungle gym in them thar walls. The last thing I need is ANOTHER freakin' heart attack as I rip out more walls trying to rescue that damn cat! (Maybe I should just change her name to THAT DAMN CAT.... seems that is what I have been calling her lately...)

So I got the smaller of the two pieces up in the basement ceiling, after nailing a piece of strapping across the framework so I would have something to screw it to. That wasn't too bad.

Then I tried to hold the other piece in place and screw it in as well. Holy crap! I just about put my back out trying to do that! A 45" x 47" piece of drywall is actually too heavy and awkward for me (and I am not a small woman - I am 5'9" and have good upper body strength) to hold in place with one hand while the other hand is trying to manoeuver the drill. I tried three times. And then gave up.

So tomorrow evening, a friend is coming over to help with this two minute job, which is all it will take, really. I just need a second pair of hands. I need to be an octopus for some of the things I have to do around here, but since I am not, I have lured him over with promises of chicken curry for dinner as payment for that piddly-ass little bit of work! He figures it's a steal of a deal - home cooked meal for almost nothing.

Of course, I then get the pleasure of his company for the remainder of the evening, so I think it is a pretty fair deal! I will post more pics later after I actually get all this done. I don't think I have any paint left over for the livingroom either. ((sigh)) Which means I will have to go out and buy some - of both colours - to finish it off completely.

My Sweetest Sister-Friend

2008-10-19T00:01:00.002-05:00

She had a gorgeous dragonfly tattooed on her upper back, resplendent in greens, yellows, blues, purples and reds. I wish I had a photograph of it. Its wings spanned just between her shoulder blades, a moving, living work of art. Graceful, subtly colourful... very much like the woman she was.

Three years ago, my sister's life ended in an instant. She was killed in a highway accident on her way home from work when an SUV, being driven by a woman stoned out of her mind on gawd only knows what drugs, crossed over the centre line and hit my sister's car head on. It was an older Toyota Camry that had been our Mum's and it didn't have airbags. She took the steering column straight in the chest and it crushed out her life in a split second.

It also crushed my heart and soul. Laurel and I were four years' apart in age, but very close together in spirit. From the time I was in my mid teens, we were friends as well as sisters. We hung out together for years, becoming more and more like best friends rather than just sisters.

Even now, three years later, the pain of that loss can overtake me, causing me to sob my heart out. I have also lost both my parents, but they both died of diseases that took time to claim their energy. Time that allows you to come to terms with the loss, knowing they would no longer be suffering and in pain, and then death comes as a relief as well as a loss.

But the tragic ending of my sister's existence allowed nothing.... no coming to terms with the emptiness that will always exist in my heart. No reasonable explanation for her passing. No time for acceptance.

Only the hollowness remains, the piece of my heart that died along with her that day, the loss of contact and companionship with her.

But the memories of her love, her laugh, her kindness and generosity, her wisdom and humour, flow through me like a constant trickle of warm, sweet water, soothing and smoothing. Her laugh, her face are reflected in her daughter, who lives a 10 minute walk from me. Even more than that, her spirit lives on in both of her children. Both her son and daughter have become such loving, wise and warm people as they have grown. She lives on through them and I am blessed to be part of both of their lives and the lives of their families.

Today is a day of revisiting the past, of remembering her smile, the warmth of her gaze, the closeness of her hug. The love that emanated from her for all those who shared her life is still palpable to me and I hold it close to my heart, wishing beyond dreams that it could be herself that I hold close.

HOW DOES SHE DO THAT????

2008-10-18T20:42:00.001-05:00

... WITHOUT WAKING UP TOTALLY GIMPED?

TWO DOWN... SEVEN TO GO.... I THINK

2008-10-16T19:32:00.009-05:00

My little cat, Pips, decided on Saturday to start puking her guts out. No fever, hadn't been anywhere as she is a house cat, other cat is fine, so I figure - hairball. Leave her alone. Just keep an eye on her.

Sunday she is still puking but still no fever. Belly doesn't appear tender when I palpate it (and yes, I know how to do that as years ago I was a vet's assistant, plus now I am a humans' nurse), bladder is not distended and bowels not constipated. Still pink, still purrs when I pick her up, just doesn't look all that great. So off to my sister's for Thanksgiving dinner with the family and leave her to rest.

Monday, she is still sick. Now she's looking a fair bit dehydrated. Still pink, still no fever, but now she's puking up green - bile - and nothing else. I have syringed water into her on numerous occasions and it all comes up again in a little while.

((big sigh)) Call the vet. It is a holiday. I am going to pay $$$$ bigtime for this. But.... the cat is in distress and looking worse all the time, so I bundle her in a towel and off we go.

Vet checks her over, decides she needs xrays (her gut felt 'bunchy' to the vet so thoughts of a foreign object came up), bloodwork, an IV for rehydration and a vehicle for the meds she would need: something to stop the puking, something for pain, and an antibiotic 'just in case'.

Since I was only six days' post-op, I relinquished the cat into the capable hands of the vet (she a lovely person and a wonderful vet) and went home to rest and wait by the phone.

Got a call that evening (about 2 hours later). Xrays show the bunchy-ness of her small intestine but nothing else shows up except a bit of gas and some poop in her bowel. Blood work is great, especially considering how dehydrated the little thing was. No sign of kidney problems, or anything else, so the plan was to keep the IV going overnight and reevaluate her in the morning. Sometimes just doing that can get the FB to move on through.

Morning comes and I talk to the vet around 10:00. No vomiting overnight, she's much better hydrated now, took another small xray and the bunchy-ness is still there. So.... give her barium, redo the xrays to see if there is something there? Or go straight to surgery and do an exploratory laparotomy. I opt for the surgery right off the hop, cuz if they do the barium first and then have to do surgery, it gets way too messy and there is a good chance of the cat getting peritonitis - which would mean lots of antibiotics, possibly more surgery to clean it out and lots more $$$$$!

Later that day, I get a call from the vet. Surgery went really well, cat is doing fine and guess what she found? A piece of grey and yellow sponge. Oh shit... I know what that is.... it is from this:

I found these cool snap-together foam mats for under my weights in the basement, to protect the carpet. I had noticed that one was getting ratty, but thought the cat was clawing at it as she wrestled and played. Well..... no. Turns out the little beggar has been chewing on it and managed to bite a piece off and swallow it.

Now a cat's small intestine probably isn't even as big around as my little finger. The vet said this thing was wedged into the duodenum, which is the bit just past the stomach. But it was now out and the mats went out in the garbage today. I am NOT taking any chances that she'll decide to chomp on them again.

So on Wednesday, I go and pick the cat up. She is sooooo ready to come home. The vet tells me the girls there are tired of cleaning her kennel, as she trashes it constantly. They had to take out her IV the night before because she was so wound up in the tubing, it wasn't running anyway. They don't know how she didn't strangle herself.

This is the 'souvenir' they gave me to take home:

When I went back to get her, carrying kennel in hand, she was flipping around in the kennel, with the litter pan on it's side, the water dish dumped and the blanket piled in one corner. She was very happy to see me and started purring immediately. So we got her out and I put her in the carrying kennel, where she continued to flip and wiggle and just not hold still. The vet says working with Pips is like trying to handle an octopus - legs everywhere that never quit moving!

Post-op instructions are to keep her quiet, don't let her run up and down the stairs or jump all over the place. So I set up a little area for her in my office, where I spend a good bit of time anyway when I am on the computer. She's got a nice cozy bed, some food and water, a litter box, the radio is on quietly and she can climb up (boxes stacked like steps) to look out the window. What more could a little cat ask for?

I needed to go out and do some errands, so I left her in the room, closed the door and off I went. Two hours later, I come home.

And no cat.

Just this:

I call her and she answers me - from in the freaking heat duct!!!! O M G!!! I can hear her scrabbling away in there, and meowing. I get a small mirror and a flashlight and look down the duct. I can see the toes on one paw - that is it!

So now I start calling to find someone who might have one of those snares on a pole, to get her out. I call the city Animal Services. They say call the Humane Society. Who says call an exterminator. Who says they could send someone by on Saturday. Are you F*CKING NUTS!!! The cat would be dead by then, you idiot!! So they say try a heating and ventilation guy. Who says all they would do is try and lure the cat out. So I call the vet. A different one comes to the phone. He tells me to call a heating and ventilation guy. Did that. So never mind.

So, I have been calling the cat and looking down the duct in between phone calls to make sure she is still there. I try my brother, who doesn't answer either phone. My niece and her hubby aren't home. Ditto for my sister and her hubby. As is my friend who lives nearby who is still off work after knee surgery. Not sure what I thought he could do, but as long as it didn't require kneeling, I am sure he could have done something!

I call the cat again and..... no answer. No sound..... nothing. Now I am frantic! Is she dead? The phone line runs through this duct. Is she hung up in it? Hanging by a leg? Is it around her neck? How the hell would I know! I can't see her!

So I decide I have to do this all myself and haul out the ladder. I hammer a hole in the wall of my livingroom where the ducts run down. The ducts are on the other side of the bulkhead, so I have to cut another hole. There are two ducts. I don't know which one is which so I cut open one. Wrong one - no phone line. Still no sounds from the cat. Cut open the other one. Call her and she answers. Gak! She's alive! The phone cord wiggles as she scrambles about. I stuff newspaper in the hole so she won't fall down the duct. I cut the cord and run upstairs, hoping I can reel her back into the office that way. Pull the cord up - no cat. Damn!

When I was pounding on the wall to break through the drywall, she must have been scared and fell down the vertical drop of the duct. So I dash down to the basement. There is a dropped ceiling in there that was probably put in 25 years ago. It is homemade - not a commercial one. Great sheets of that pressed paperboard crap that someone slapped a horrible pointy fake stucco finish on. I can't take the giant 'tile' out, as the frame work was put up after the 'tile' was put in place. So I got my hatchet and pried the 1x2 boards off the wall. The 'tile' still wouldn't come down so I said to hell with this and broke it to get it out.

Then I was faced with the two ducts. But at least I knew which one to open cuz the phone line exited the duct right in that corner. I took out the screw holding the duct together at the elbow. It took all my strength, which was flagging horribly by this time because I had been running on adrenalin for about 2 hours already, to get the thing apart. I honestly didn't think I would be able to and was on the verge of tears several times. But I couldn't give up because I was the only hope Pips had. So I did get it apart and I could just feel her nose when I stuck my arm in. She was kind of stuck midway. The length of duct had one of those internal flaps so you can cut the airflow to that room if you wanted to. Pips couldn't get past that. So I wrestled with the other end of the duct, disconnected it and stuck my arm in that way. I could feel her back legs and tail. I tried to pull her out but she started screaming - she was stuck on that damn flap!

Well, I told her she's on her own now and will have to find a way out. I made sure I help the flap in the open position and called her name. With much scrabbling and wiggling, this is what emerged from the duct. She was so happy to see me, she yelled a huge meow and started purring loudly.

Which lead to this right after I determined she had suffered no injuries in her escapade. Don't forget, she is one day post-op (and I am now eight). So much for keeping her quiet....

She spent a lot of time sleeping today, especially in the sun that was streaming in the livingroom window midday. She snuggled up to her bud Zoe, who watched over her as she rested.

BB, the old man, could not have cared less. He's probably thinking she's used up more than two of those nine lives already, the silly git....

THAT WET COAST FEELING...

2008-10-13T10:10:00.002-05:00

I feel like I am back in Vancouver. I lived out that way for 3 1/2 years a while back and moved back to the Prairies because I was bloody sick and tired of freezing my patootie off! The damp chill there just drove me batty. Didn't get that SAD from the grey gloomy skies (that would be Seasonal Affective Disorder or major depression from decreased serotonin production due to chronic and extended lack of sunlight) but was just absolutely chilled to the bone cold all the time. Well, except in August when there would be three weeks of heat, which is what they call summer out there.

For several days now we here in what is soon to become Winterpeg have been subjected to West Coast weather. It is rainy, wet, chilly (it is all of 5C right now and the high for the day is a stifling 7C!). The leaves are plastered all over everything except the trees, in yellows and browns and the occasional red or orange.

There are worms all over the sidewalks and roads. It smells like mashed worms out there. I don't know how they can even move, it is so cold out there! But they are struggling valiantly to get to somewhere.... and getting stepped on or run over in their efforts. One saving grace is we don't get those huge banana slugs that look like moving dog turds.

Even though it is only Thanksgiving, I will take snow over this rainy crap any day. I feel like my universe has shifted and somehow deposited me back on the Wet Coast.

GET IT OUT ..... Update

2008-10-11T13:45:00.005-05:00

Well, I am now four days post-op and eating fairly normally. Have had no problems with food shooting straight through - thanks the gods that be! The last thing I need is the runs. Took a few days for the old bowels to get moving again (not bad considering I had nothing to eat for over 36 hours), but all is back to normal now.

I am itchy from the tape I have to put on my belly. Have to keep the sutures covered or my clothes catch on them - that hurts! Plus I don't want any infections, so I am putting antibiotic ointment on the incisions and covering them with gauze and tape. I am allergic to just about all tapes known to man but have found one that only makes me a little red and itchy - some make me blister and peel off my skin. No sense adding insult to injury!

Lots of swelling around my poor bellybutton. Makes me look about 6 months' prego.... yuck. And it is quite colourful, what with the incision (red), the bruising (yellow and a few purple spots) and the sutures (bright blue). This is where the largest trochar gets inserted and wiggled about. And it is also where they extract the offending organ. Will have to remember to ask the surgeon just how big my gall bladder was when he yanked the damn thing out.

But it is all getting better, slowly, day by day. Walking the dog is short and turtle slow (at least in Zoe's mind... good thing I taught her 'easy' a long time ago so she knows to slow down to an amble when I say that). We only go about one block total so far but today was a teensy bit faster than it has been. She's itching for a good hard run, I can tell, but she's sticking to me like glue so is tolerating the minimal exercise quite well. Maybe tomorrow we will go to the dog park and I will meander a short distance while she races about. She's such a good dog.... doesn't let me out of her sight. The cats, on the other hand, could care less....

The biggest thing about all this is how sore my back (on my ribs) is on the left side. When they do this surgery, they manoeuver the OR table, which is multi-jointed, so that you are tilted with your right side up (cuz that is where your liver and gall bladder reside) and kinda curved to the left. So the brunt of my weight was on this one area of my ribs towards the back about mid upper arm level. For close to two hours. It aches and is sore to the touch. I have to take pain meds more for that than for the abdominal discomfort, which is really limited to my poor protruding and bruised up umbilicus.

So I am lounging about, taking it easy for the most part. Trying to get all healed up in a hurry so I can get on with my life. Good thing there are lots of blogs to visit, cuz I get bored easily with TV and reading.

JUST GET IT OUT!

2008-10-09T16:41:00.007-05:00

For the past several years, I have been dealing with bouts of abdominal pain that last for hours and are very uncomfortable, resulting in lots of bloating and referred back pain as well. Seems that I was defying medical diagnosis for quite some time until I was referred to a GI specialist.

Over the course of the past three years, I have had numerous blood tests taken both during these attacks and not. My pancreatic enzymes were up for discussion, looking for pancreatitis. Negative.

I have had two gastroscopies - where the doc sprays local anaesthetic in your throat and gets you to swallow a honking big hose that contains a camera, for a good look around your stomach to make sure there aren't any ulcers or tumours. Has a little nipper thing he can slide down there too if he needs to take a tissue sample for biopsy. Negative on that front also.

I have had to drink liquid barium, an xray contrast medium that is like drinking liquid chalk. Least they could do is flavour the stuff, but noooo... just chug the whole glass then lay down on the table so they can watch what it does in your stomach. Then every 30 minutes you get to go back and get zapped by radiation again and again while they follow the barium all the way through to your bowel. That took four hours... four very long hours. Because I have had previous abdominal surgery, they were looking for strictures of scar tissue that might possibly be wrapped around my bowel causing the pain. Negatory.

Then on to the Ultrasound. Twice. A year apart. Absolutely nothing abnormal showed up on either of those. The attacks continued, not really influenced by what I ate (ie: high fat foods) and usually occurring in the late afternoon or evening. Go figure.

So then I got referred to the GI guy. Finally.... Really nice doc. I had done my research and determined that I had biliary colic and the GI guy agreed with me, after reviewing my file. So he sent me for an MRI to get a better look at what was going on in my belly and it showed I have sludge in my gall bladder. Not stones, but sludge.

So apparently, the sludge would slide around in my gall bladder and cause it to spasm. Which could be pretty intense and not always relieved with things like Tylenol #3's and Gravol. But never so severe that I was willing to sit in the Emergency Room for hours on end to get a shot of Demerol or Morphine, because by the time I would get in, the pain would be gone. So I would take what I had at home and stick it out. Sometimes, that would be up to 6 hours.... talk about a major belly ache!

The GI doc wanted to put me on some medication that might (and I repeat, might) dissolve the sludge. So for six months, I took three pills a day that did absolutely nothing for the attacks. I felt no different. Went back at the end of those 6 months for a repeat MRI and guess what? The sludge was still there!

So the next step was referral to a surgeon to get the offending organ removed. Saw him in August and had the surgery two days ago - laparascopic cholecystectomy.

It all went as expected and no unusual complications but I did puke a fair bit after because of the morphine they gave me. That settled about 4 hours post-op so not too bad. The thick feeling in my ears was from the anaesthetic and that didn't clear until last night some time.

So today, two days post-op and I actually feel pretty good except I have a sore belly. I look like a stabbing victim though! I have four holes in my belly. But I am not nauseated and I have a relatively good appetite, although I am being careful about what I eat. Don't want to load my system with fatty foods and end up in the biffy in an hour with everything exiting in a hurry! I haven't experienced that but do know that some people don't tolerate any fatty foods at all once the gall bladder is gone.

For those of you with an interest, this is a link to a video of an actual lap choley. Not mine though, because the hospital I had it done at doesn't have the capacity to tape the procedures - or at least, that is what they told me. I would have liked to see what I personally look like on the inside, but that is just the nurse in me coming out, I think.

I am keeping my fingers crossed now that this will mean an end to the attacks of abdominal pain. I asked the surgeon to have a good look around at the parts he could see when he was in there to make sure nothing looked amiss. Will get his view of things when I see him in three weeks. Until then, I am just hangin' out, healin' up and takin' it easy.

GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND....

2008-10-05T08:07:00.007-05:00

Getting these two to do any office work is like pulling hen's teeth....

They tend to lounge around and waste the day away doing stuff like..... sleeping!

"Wha...? You want me to do something? What? Load the printer with more paper... well, okay.... if you insist..."

"Where do we keep the paper again?"

"Is it in here....?"

"Is it up there...?"

"Alright, already... I'll close it when I'm done.... OKAY??!!!??"

"Blah, blahblah blah BLAH!"

"No.... I didn't say anything...."

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

"Okay.... I think I found it."

"Noooo... I am NOT dawdling...."

"Gimme a minute, will ya! It's hard to handle this stuff when you don't have fingers! Sheesh."

"I'm on my break. I'll get to it in 15 minutes."

"GAWD! This job is way too physical!!"

"I need to rest...."

"I was NOT sleeping on the job! Really, I wasn't...."

"I'm ready! For what.... I don't know.... but I am ready... honest!"

THANKFULNESS..... AND TURKEY DAY

2008-10-04T18:16:00.005-05:00

Canadian Thanksgiving in just over a week away. In my family, it is a time to gather together, enjoying the warmth and love of each other's company, talking, eating and laughing. Sharing the bond that keeps us all close.

At this time of year, I always find myself reminiscing about past gatherings and the wonderful memories I carry with me in my head and in my heart.

It has been 19 years since my father died, five since Mum passed away, and almost three since my oldest sister, Laurel, was killed in a highway accident. Those three all live in my heart, with strong and special memories of each keeping me close to them.

This year, my oldest nephew and his lovely wife have recently relocated to Calgary so will not be with those of us who live in Winnipeg for the turkey fest. They will both be missed but knowing they'll be coming back at Christmas for a visit eases that.

My oldest and dearest best friend, Debbie, is coming up from Texas tomorrow. She'll be here visiting me, her in-laws and her mum and sister. She'll be here for Thanksgiving. She'll actually get two Thanksgivings this year, because she'll be back home in Texas for the American version next month.

I am so excited that she will be here - staying with me and giving us the opportunity to hang out together, which is something we really haven't done in a couple of decades to any great degree. We have been best buds for 36 years... I remember her telling me a few years ago that her oldest daughter (now 21 but then a teen) expressing envy at the length and apparent ease of our friendship. Debbie told her daughter that we both made the effort to keep our friendship alive and well - it didn't just do this on it's own. I don't think her daughter had any idea that you have to work at any relationship - even one with a girlfriend.

One of the poignant thoughts for me this Thanksgiving, although I no longer have my parents or my oldest sister here, is that Debbie doesn't really have hers either. Her dad died ten years ago. Her older sister (she just has the one sibling) is mentally handicapped, has OCD, paranoia and is a huge handful at the best of times.

Her mum, sadly enough, is now confined to a locked dementia unit in a local hospital, awaiting placement in a personal care facility that is equipped for the cognitively challenged. She now requires special care due to the severeity of her dementia and her increasingly aggressive behaviour. She is no longer a person that Debbie recognizes, just as she no longer recognizes her own daughter.

So Debbie doesn't really have any family left. She is like my own sister and I love her absolutely to bits. She will always be a part of my family, and now that hers is shrinking even smaller, I think this will become more important to her.

So my thanks goes to everyone in my family, for being who they are and for loving me for who I am. And also to my siblings for having always taken Debbie in as part of the family, as she's spent tons of time with them all when we were younger. For her loving me, for her supporting me in all the situations I have found myself involved in in my life, be they happy or sad, good or bad. She has always been there for me. I have always been there for her.

If two people could ever be soulmates, she and I are just that. We are connected, we think alike and have ESP when it comes to calling or when things happen to one or the other - we just seem to know.

So on this upcoming Turkey Day, Debbie will be joining me and my family, and she will be loved and welcomed in as one of the clan. I am glad she will be here... and I am glad I can be here for her.

BATTENING THE HATCHES...

2008-09-30T20:35:00.003-05:00

Well, it is officially Fall now... on the calendar and by the temperature in my house last night. I was out with my girlfriends having dinner and when I got home, it was only 63F (my thermostat is old and is only in Fahrenheit).

Needless to say, it was freezing! Even my dog was chilly. The hairs on her back were standing up a bit. She'd probably been sleeping all evening while I was out - as she is wont to do - so no movement = no increase in body heat.

I was forced to turn the heat on. On Sept. 29th!!!! GAWD! In September I needed the heat on. That just sucks big time. It was just for a few hours and I turned it down overnight, but when the temp outside is 2 or 3C (yeah I know that is Celsius but that is what the weather icon on my taskbar tells me, so the thermostat and weather thingie are not on the same page, let alone in the same era), you gotta get the furnace pumping to take that chill out of the air. Especially when that air in indoors!

So today I replaced my old thermostat with a new, 5+1+1 day programmable one. All new-fangled and computerized. So now the house will cool down and heat up automatically and it should (as they claim) save me money in the long run.

I also replaced the door sweep on my door. I would say front door but it is on the side of the house. And it is the only swing-type door I have. As the only other door to the outside is the sliding patio type. So I got that freshly sealed to prevent cold air from wiggling it's way under the door in the dead of winter. The weather stripping around the door frame is in good shape.

To see the state of affairs above me, I climbed up into my attic today. Wanted to see what the insulation situation was like. Turns out it is that blown in grey stuff. It is pretty uneven, so I think I will buy some and spread it around to thicken things up. Have to figure out how much to put in there. The local hydro company has some pretty good tips on their website for this. They say you should have the attic insulated to R50. Will have to measure and figure out what I have now, so I know how much to add.

I also am going to make a rigid foam cover for my one and only basement window. It is an original, wooden framed window. All the other windows in the house were replaced with nice, decent quality vinyl windows a few years ago, so no worries there. Why they didn't included the basement one is beyond me. One more would have added about $300 to the total bill. So I think I will replace it in the spring, when funds are little freer (hopefully). For the winter, however, it will get a nice, thick layer of rigid foam insulation to keep the cold at bay.

Since I just moved into this house in July, I really don't have any idea what it will be like in the winter. I am certain it can't be as bad as the house I rented last winter, where there was old sawdust for insulation (the damn thing was built in 1900!) so it cost me over $300/month to heat the thing to a chilly 15C. I wore so many layers of clothes last winter INSIDE that it was friggin' ridiculous! I hated that house.....

But this house I really like. I have been in it for two months now and have done a little bit of decorating. I have a huge list of things planned to do in the future, but those will be tackled slowly and over a number of years to help defray the cost.

Unless, of course, I win a bit of something on the lottery.....

A NEW WORD IS BORN

2008-09-24T22:40:00.000-05:00

I knew someone would find a name for our election process for this year.

Electile Dysfunction :
The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for PRIME MINISTER put forth by any party in the 2008 election year.

Amen!!!

IT'S TIME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

2008-09-24T18:15:00.007-05:00

A man died in the ER department of a very busy local hospital on the weekend. A man who was sent to the ER by a community clinic where they were unable to help with his medical issue. The man was found dead in the waiting room approximately 34 hours after he arrived.

Today the details of this tragedy surfaced. This man was one of the homeless in Winnipeg who was a frequent ER visitor. He had a catheter that was blocked and was unable to drain urine from his bladder via that catheter. The autopsy showed he died of a bladder infection.

What also surfaced was that this man never registered at the triage desk in the ER so the staff did not know he was there. It also surfaced that the community clinic where he had been seen and sent to the ER in a cab from never called the hospital to say he was coming in.

Now, it is a horrible situation and should never have happened but who is at fault here?

One would think, that if you go to the ER with a problem, you have to go to the triage desk to let them register you and get you into the queue to be seen by a doctor. Or even a nurse. A plugged catheter can be easily replaced and the issue resolved, along with appropriate antibiotics to treat the infection. But this man did not bother to do that. He sat in the waiting room, getting more loaded with bacteria and septic by the hour, until he passed away. Unbeknownst to those around him, until someone finally noticed his lifeless form.

The ER staff at that hospital are extremely busy. It is a huge facility, with multiple hospitals rolled into one big conglomeration, and hundreds of people probably pass through that ER every day. If they don't know you're there, how can they help you?

The community clinic that sent the man there didn't follow up with any kind of contact to the ER. At least, that is what is mentioned in the news. So.... why did someone from that clinic not just call the ER and tell them they were sending this guy over and what the issue was? Why was there no follow up to see if the man had been attended to in the ER?

My opinion on this is that the man himself was the first one responsible for what happened. He'd been to the ER enough times to know that you have to present yourself at triage to be seen. He arrived in a cab, for gawd's sake, so he must have been well enough at that point to make it to the desk and tell them his story.

The second offender in this scenario is the community clinic, with lack of contact and follow-up with the ER. Continuity of care has to exist to ensure that things get done properly and in a timely manner. Health care is the one area where this is of extreme importance. Helloooo..... it obviously makes a difference between life and death.

I can't say that the ER staff are really to blame, but one would think that a guy whose been parked in a corner somewhere for a day and a half would be noticed by the staff at some point - hopefully before he's dead. But I haven't spent any time in that ER so I really can't say what it is like. I guess it really depends on how busy it is (and I do know that many ER's are crazy-go-nuts most of the time) and how observant the staff are; whether they are understaffed and overworked or whatever.

All I can say is, is that everyone needs to take responsibility for themselves. In all aspects of their lives. Don't expect someone else to look after you if you are capable of making decisions for yourself, cuz more than likely that won't happen. And if someone is NOT able to take responsibility for themselves, then someone needs to be assigned to do that, be it family or a worker in whatever capacity. And they need to follow through until everything is resolved.

It is a tragedy, and I am waiting for the legal fallout to happen. Will this man's family sue the hospital, or the community clinic? If they do, where the hell were they when he ended up in that clinic and then the ER? Who will be disciplined for this in the health care settings where this man was seen (or not)?

LAST NIGHT THE UNIVERSE EXPLODED.....

2008-09-23T10:28:00.005-05:00

It was like this....

I was in bed and asleep and the world exploded around my house. No shrapnel or debris flying, that I could tell. Just a huge explosion. Scared the bejeezus out of me, woke me from a dead sleep and sent me floundering upright in bed, where I squished Pips (the little cat) with my leg. She always sleeps with me.

Pips didn't complain. I could only tell I squished her because it felt... well.... squishy. The bed isn't so I knew it was a cat. And BB (the old man) usually hunkers down on the floor somewhere so I can cuff him in the head with my foot as I make my way to the bathroom in the dark.

We had a thunderstorm last night. I knew we were in for bad weather, but holy crap! I think the universe exploded completely to smithereens at least three times and the other explosions were just bits being blown off.

I had to get up at one point and check my basement for flooding (I think it was around 2:30) because it was raining so hard, I was afraid the window well would fill up again and the water would flow in around my one and only old wooden framed basement window. Had that happen a couple of weeks ago. Not fun. Need to get it replaced and fix the window well (ie: make sure it drains into the weeping tiles properly).

I actually watched out the window a couple of times but nothing happened so I would go back to bed, fall asleep, only to be blasted awake with another kaboom! kkkeeerrrrack! I have a room darkening blind on the window so I didn't see the flashes first. Hence, no warning.

I love thunderstorms. But I love them when I am awake and don't have to get up at 5:30 a.m. to go to work. Needless to say, I did not love this one. So today I am bagged.

And to top it all off, I had just fallen back asleep around 4:00 a.m., only to be wakened at 4:30ish with a gall bladder attack. Which, as of 10:40 a.m., has just finally settled down to the point where I can have some breakfast. Can't wait for the surgery date in October to get the damn nuisance out.

I need a nap....

TOMORROW IS PEACE DAY

2008-09-20T08:38:00.007-05:00

September 21st is Peace Day - internationally - voted on in the United Nations and adopted in 2001. Watch this video and see how the actions of one man have snowballed into huge effects worldwide.

What will you do to make peace in your tiny corner of the world on this day?

A TRIP TO THE DENTIST

2008-09-19T10:37:00.006-05:00

I had a visit with my dentist the other day. Turns out I actually had a cavity! Come on! I haven't had one of those in years. I've had lots of other issues, like root canals on teeth with huge ancient fillings that crack and allow bacteria in to abscess the damn thing. And crowns and bridges that cost an absolute fortune, even with dental insurance. But a cavity!?!?

Well, it turns out that a molar on the bottom right, that was crowned years ago because of a filling that was falling apart (no root canal on this one), developed a little cavity at the gum line, between it and the tooth behind it. I only noticed it when I flossed and then it was a bit sensitive. So when I went in for my cleaning, I mentioned it. Xrays showed a cavity.

Well, this little inconvenience necessitated another visit. Which necessitated the green rubber dam rigged in my mouth to prevent bits of metal and tooth getting impaled in my oral tissues.

Once the crown was cut away and the cavity cleaned out and filled, the hygienist mixed up this paste, put it on a holder and had me bite down and hold the thing in place for two minutes. Because I have to have a new crown made. To replace the one that was now cut into a zillion little metal shards. Which will cost me over $400 - and that is just my half of the cost - Blue Cross pays the other half. I thought the crowns on the top were going to pop off when I tried to open my mouth after the two minutes were up. That goop really gloms onto your teeth! They take impressions of the upper and lower teeth to get the shape and bite right for the new crown.

Once I head back to the dentist in a week and a half, I will end up with a new one of these:

Right now, I have a temporary crown on to keep the tooth stump protected. It doesn't fit very well (it is just a generic tooth, after all) and it is quite rough from her trimming it to fit my bite, but it does the job and won't be there for long.

The biggest inconvenience of this whole day was the amount of freezing she had to use! Because she had to spend time cutting off the crown, filling the cavity and then fitting the temporary crown, she gave me two needles of anaesthetic. So my face was frozen from the centre of my mouth to the middle of my ear and from the bottom of my chin up to just below my eye. Half of my nose was numb so only one nostril could flare if I tried to take a deep breath in. I couldn't feel the front part of my ear but the back part had normal sensation. The numbness even extended into my hair above my ear for a couple of inches.

But the biggest thing was my tongue! The right side of my tongue was totally frozen, so I had a speech impediment for most of the afternoon. I talked like I had cotton balls or marbles in my mouth. And I had to go to work at 3:30.... I didn't have any lunch because I didn't want to bite the bejeezus out of my tongue and cheek. Drinking a pop out of a can was a challenge - I couldn't tell if I was drooling on the right side or not until it rolled off my chin and hit flesh that felt!

So I went to work, mumbling and drooling and smiling with half my face. One of my patients asked me if I was okay because I didn't look so good. When I laughed, he did too, because I looked like this:

It probably took until mid evening for all the freezing to wear off. I had soup for supper to protect my delicate oral tissues from mastication. Next week I can look forward to a shorter visit, hopefully with less or even no freezing, for my shiny new crown.

Breaking Threads.....

2008-09-17T23:46:00.003-05:00

Very tiny threads... of connection... knowing this would come eventually, somehow... so with a smile, with sadness, with affection, with a few unexpected tears... but mostly with understanding.... those threads are severed.

Reflections on Losses

2008-09-17T00:25:00.003-05:00

I was driving today, listening to the radio. A song came on that stirred up memories that I don't really care to remember much, but often have no choice when they surface. So I got to thinking on all the kinds of losses we suffer in our lifetimes.

There is the loss of innocence when, as a child, you finally realize that Santa and the Easter Bunny are not real. (Really? They're not? Says who!)

There is the loss of virginity, as a teenager, with your first boyfriend. (Now THERE is a unique and once in a lifetime sensation!)

There is the loss of your first love - the heartbreak and angst you feel - that life just can't go on and how will you possibly survive - and two weeks later you are madly in love with someone else.

There is the loss of a job - being fired for not being able to type fast enough - when speed had not been a pre-requisite when you were hired but became an issue - for your employer, at any rate.

There is the loss of contact when you move away from your home town, province, country.... when the frequent visits that had been a regular occurrence in your life became phone calls and letters (and later on, emails, as technology progressed).

There was the mind blowing, heart wrenching devastation of the loss of a love, one who couldn't cope with life and ended his, without telling you how bad things really were.... and along with that is the loss of time, a space of days that are forever blocked from memory because of the pain and hurt that are too much to bear.

There is the loss of trust, when one you marry betrays you... with alcohol, with drugs, with other women.... and tries to demean you into staying.

There is the loss of parents too young, of grandparents quite elderly but still sorely missed, the unbelievable and inconceivable loss of a sister who meant the world to you, who was your sister-friend and confidante.

There are beginnings that become endings as life moves on and people pass through. As you go on, searching for that someone who will be the one... who will be the right match.... only to find one whom you think IS the right match, and you fall head over heels for him, only to lose him because you are not the right match for him.

There is the lost opportunity at a position - at a job you know you would be very good at, simply because others had more chances to gain the necessary experience in that position, with that employer, while your experience was elsewhere and not as relevant to this employer, despite being the exact position as the one you applied for.

There is the feeling that someone is just out of reach, someone who has the potential to be something special to you, if only he hadn't suffered a loss long ago that has coloured his world and made him hesitant. There is a connection, a friendship that you yearn to grow into something more, but realize that pushing it will cost you everything, and add another loss to the string of lifetime losses that already abound.

So patience is a virtue, no matter how difficult it is to not push. To prevent one more loss is worth it, though, because the slowly growing friendship is a base that is solid, that has the makings of a gain that may make waiting worthwhile in the long run.

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.....

2008-09-14T19:44:00.002-05:00

Fall is in the air and the mornings are getting crisp. Leaves are changing to the fiery hues of autumn, lending an artist's palette to the landscape.

It is a beautiful time of year. The air feels clean and crisp as you breathe. The bugs are almost gone. The trees are awash with colours that vary from vibrant green to burnt sienna, with ruby reds thrown into the mix.

The only problem is all this beauty leads to this:

**sigh**

SAME OLD, SAME OLD....

2008-09-12T17:00:00.002-05:00

Well, I didn't get the postiion, as mentioned in my previous post.

So I am still doing the same stuff as before, slogging away on the front lines.

One day, when something else comes around, I will go for that one too.

Either I am a glutton for punishment or an eternal optimist.

MOVIN' ON UP

2008-09-10T12:01:00.004-05:00

In just under two hours, I have a job interview. I already have a good job, but this one is a step up. It is within my unit in the hospital so no change in who I work with or where. But it would give me an opportunity to sit behind the desk and cut the wear and tear that my hands, feet and back have been taking in my nursing career.

If I am successful, I would become one of the Clinical Resource Nurses in our unit. That's a fancy name for Charge Nurse. There are three positions. One is vacant because the previous occupant moved on to bigger and better things at another hospital.

I am starting to get a bit nervous, but more because this will be a panel interview than anything else. I will know everyone on the panel, but there will be about 5 - 7 people looking at me and asking me questions. EEK!

I have new clothes, just got my teeth cleaned and have researched a lot of stuff that they will probably ask me. I am as prepared as I can be. Maybe I can dazzle them with my brilliant smile and they'll give me the job just to save their eyesight.

Wish me luck!

Greener Family... and Pasture Values.... uh, wait a minute...

2008-09-06T22:06:00.007-05:00

That should be family values and greener pastures.

We had a family gathering at my niece's house this evening.... a send-off party for her brother (my oldest nephew) and his wife, who are moving to Calgary to be dinks for a while. They leave in about 10 days and will be sorely missed, but.... someone else to go visit!

(That would be double income no kids kind of dinks.... they are actually extremely nice people. But I am not biased or anything.)

I love getting together with my family. My niece and her husband and their two little girls (ages five and a half and almost two) are great at organizing and hosting these shindigs.

(And yes, that IS a sea-lion kissing my great-niece on the head!)

My youngest sister and her hubby were there. They are off to Vegas tomorrow for a few days - it's their 25th anniversary this year (in August) and they have planned a nice little get-away.

(My brother-in-law hates having his picture taken. This is a rare shot. What you usually get is something like the hand in the previous picture, as he hides behind my sister.)

My youngest brother and his girlfriend also came - lovely to see the two of them.... often months go by with no contact, but that is just because of work scheduling conflicts, and nothing more.

One of the things I love most about my family is how openly affectionate we are with each other. All the women hug everyone, and most of the guys (all the ones related to me by blood, anyway) will hug everyone (other than the non-blood related guys, that is), including each other. The ones related by marriage just haven't gotten into the hugging thing... yet. You never know.... we may convert the younger ones yet!

But the best part of the evening was when it was time for the great nieces to head to bed. They both got changed into their jammies and then came out to the livingroom to say goodnight to everyone. The older of the two hugged everyone without hesitation.

The little type, who had looked at me when I got to the house earlier as if she'd never seen me before in her life, ran over, gave me a big hug with her head on my shoulder, and a nice big kiss on the smacker for good measure! What a doll...

What a family! I am blessed by whatever gods you want to thank for having been born into this family. I am proud and I love them all.

I'M JUST SICK OF IT....

2008-09-04T17:56:00.005-05:00

Ever since I blogged about googling my blog name, all the hits (well, almost all) on my blog have been people searching terms like:

ponygirl breeding
ponygirl training
ponygirl bondage
submissive ponygirl
ponygirl leather

AAAGHHHHGGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHH!

Prior to that post, there were very few hits on my blog regarding the name 'ponygirl'. I think I have opened a can of worms, and even though I removed the label ponygirl from the post, I am still getting those kinds of search results.

There are obviously a lot of people out there interested in that kind of submissive play. Listen up, people: I AM NOT ONE OF THEM!!!!!

I am THIS kind of Ponygirl:

Not THIS kind:

Maybe if I can figure out a way to change the spelling of my blog name without having to start all over, I can get those folks off my tail (pun intended... I know, I know...).

So, what do you think? PONYGURL? PONYGYRL? PONYGIIRL?

A DAY AT THE BEACH

2008-08-31T20:50:00.014-05:00

Today being the last day of August and a hot, muggy one at that, my sister Melissa and I decided to head to the beach for the afternoon.

(Disclaimer: All pictures shown in this post have been snagged from various sites on the Internet, as I neglected to bring my camera with me. Except the one of the car really is my sister and her car - she emailed it to me. But I am sure you will get the gist of the day anyway.)

We drove up to Patricia Beach in Melissa's brand new Mini Cooper S Clubman that she picked up just days ago. Neat little car, that! Lots of ponies under the hood and spaceous to boot.

When we headed up, the weather was quite overcast, although the temperature was about 30 degrees C at that time (just after noon). It looked quite like this:

We picked Patricia Beach because it is a lot less crowded than the more popular Grand Beach:

Patricia Beach tends to be more of a family oriented beach, whereas Grand is the meat market kind of place.

Because it was quite overcast, and the breeze off the lake made it cooler than the 30C that the city was experiencing, we dabbled our feet in the water but found it too cool to tempt us to swim about. (Would have been quite refreshing had the sun been blazing and the day smokin' hot.) So we lay around on our towels on the beach and people watched, chatted and generally just relaxed the afternoon away.

Not two seconds on the beach and this appeared!

And she bit me.

Like this:

Nasty little bitch.... so I squished her dead... why, oh why, do I have to be at the top of mosquitodom's favourite flavour list????? ((sigh))

We enjoyed some cold soft drinks I had packed along; having stopped at Quizno's for a bite of lunch before leaving the city, we didn't pack any food.

During the afternoon, the clouds broke up and the sun came out, warming the beach considerably. We wandered over to the local snack shack for an ice cream cone. Melissa had Maple Walnut and I had Chocolate. Mmmmmmm

On the way back to the beach, the ice cream on my cone took a nose dive into the sand. I was horrified!

But I managed to rescue most of it, paring off the contaminated bits with paper napkins until clean ice cream was left. Which I then ate! (Yeah... whatever... five second rule and all that.) It was delicious and no, there were not sand bits in it.

We watched people playing frisbee.

We watched kids playing in the sand, building castles and whatever else their imaginations could come up with.

There were kids on boogie boards. (Lake Winnipeg actually has waves and tidal action, as it is large enough and shallow enough to be influenced by the moon, just like the oceans.)

We watched families interacting and enjoying each other's company.

We watched gulls and pelicans flying over and around the beach.

All in all, a lovely, relaxing Sunday afternoon. I hope everyone else out there had a great last day of August as well.

HEARD AT THE BEIJING OLYMPICS...

2008-08-28T21:59:00.005-05:00

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'

All I can say is HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

SILENCE ON SUNDAY -- FAMILY FLASHBACK

2008-08-24T10:27:00.007-05:00

LULLING ABOUT......

2008-08-23T00:29:00.004-05:00

My life is in a lull..... there is no one special in it at the moment. Beginnings have come and gone, nothing right enough to become a continuation.... the discontinuations leave me feeling a bit sad, and bad, for the possible discomfort I may have caused, but one must be true to one's self, which entails being honest with others.

No point in continuations if it is not the right sort of thing. Has to be two-sided as one-sided just doesn't work, as the past has shown me. Continue too long, past the point of discovering the one-sidedness, and the discontinuation becomes a painful thing.... a pain that I dislike causing.

So I am quietly lulling about my life right now.... trying to get into a space where I am comfortable with that position... the alone-ness, the one-ness... although not with loneliness.... that has not appeared as I have friends and family that I adore.

There is potential in one direction.... someone from the past... hesitant but interested.... the interest is mutual but never acted upon.... time will tell what is brewing beneath the surface, if indeed there is anything. So for now, I continue... to lull quietly...

Excuse me now, while I go and lull off to sleep.... I am tired.... zzzzzzzzz

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BASEMENT???

2008-08-17T12:36:00.005-05:00

So... I Googled my blog name...

2008-08-13T22:33:00.005-05:00

... because it is kind of cool to see where you fall on the list of cyber searches ... and came up with a bunch of images. Some were totally expected. Like this, which is just too cute:

Then... I came across this one, of a stone carving in Europe - Oslo, I believe the caption under it said... looks like it is depicting an adult woman with children playing "horsie", riding on her back. Kind of interesting... looks like part of a larger display of stone statues depicting family activities and something that parents around the world do, I am sure.

But then... I came across these and thought .... WTF!!!!

It turns out, with further investigation, that 'Ponygirl' play is a form of bondage... I had NOOOO idea when I chose the name for my blog that this even existed! I named my blog Ponygirl Ponderings because of the horses (real ones, by the way.... just see some previous posts) in my life.

You can even buy books detailing the training of Ponygirls for submission, and all that goes with it, I guess (just surmising here, as I haven't read any of them and really don't want to, thanks very much...).

There is a magazine dedicated to this, uh, 'sport' as well - Equus Eroticus - but I decided not to put a picture of their cover up as it is pretty explicit.

All I can say is... THOSE Ponygirls are waaaaayyyy weird! And my blog didn't even make the search list.....

FITTING IN...

2008-08-11T22:32:00.004-05:00

Pips (aka Pipsqueak) has settled into the family quite nicely. She has adapted from barn cat to house cat status with nary a twitch of her whiskers and spends time each day looking out the living room window at the birds and bunnies that populate the neighbourhood.

She is likes to kick back and relax...

... is definitely a snuggle bunny...

... does a good job keeping herself clean, especially behind the ears and between the toes...

... looks a tad scruffy as her hair grows in but she's unconcerned with appearances...

... every once in a while joins Zoe for snuggles on the floor ...

... and on Zoe's bed too ...

... and best of all, she and the B-man are getting to be buddies, playing and sleeping together.

ISSUES! I HAVE ISSUES...

2008-08-09T23:05:00.006-05:00

Well, actually my external hard drive does. Ever since I moved into my new house in July, it has been causing me problems. It is soooo slow... takes forever to open up files (this is where all my data files are stored - like the gazillion photos I have...), tends to freeze up, and now it is telling me it is not formatted and needs to be formatted, do I want to do this now?

NO!

Because I am pretty sure that would wipe off all the data in the thing and I would be ready to kill it... smash it with a hammer or something... out of rage that it destroyed so many things that are precious to me.

So tomorrow I am picking up an 8GB flash drive to transfer all the data to, so I can reformat the damn E:/ drive and hopefully get it back up to snuff. I actually found a nice little flash drive for under $30! Can't beat that!

This better work.... if I lose anything I will most seriously pissed off. And I can't do any of the posts I have planned because I can't upload any photos! I have things planned... and none are coming to fruitition because of technical difficulties.

Grrrrrrr!

SILENCE ON SUNDAY

2008-08-03T11:47:00.003-05:00

PONY PEDICURE -- A DAY AT THE SPA

2008-07-30T22:57:00.008-05:00

Tuesday was the day for Thunder to get his toenails trimmed. They were getting a tad long as Rob, the farrier, had taken a week's vacation so Thunder went longer than usual between trims. Normally I have Rob come out to the barn every six weeks, as Thunder has very healthy feet and grows lots of hoof in that time span. This time, he went seven weeks and it was quite noticeable! He also got brushed and his mane nicely braided.... love that first two tone braid!

In some of the pictures, you can see scars and fuzzy hair on Thunder's legs and neck. Four years ago, he should have died. We had a couple of very wet summer and alsike clover took over our pasture. I lost one yearling to colic and a few weeks later, Thunder got horribly ill with liver damage, colic and grossly swollen legs. That's for another post sometime, though, but suffice to say his will to live is very strong and he is such a sweet horse that I did everything I could to save him.

Today he has minor limitations from the scarring - mostly on his left front leg (can't cross that leg over in front of his right) and the left side of his neck (doesn't flex well going to the right - the scar is tight). Given his atheticism with all these scars, I can only imagine how much more fabulous he would be if this had never happened!

This shot is strictly for WW! If you think YOU've got nose hairs, check out these! And Thunder is quite willing to have the camera pointed up a nostril to illustrate just how large and clear his are. You can also see how lumpy his pink nose is... that turned completely black and the skin died when he was sick, so it is all scar tissue. Needless to say, he is not fond of having his nose petted.

Rob, the farrier, told me he didn't want any shots of his bum in here, but no one can post about a farrier without a backside view.... because that is what we see mostly of them! Sorry Rob... couldn't resist!

AAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

2008-07-28T20:54:00.004-05:00

SO MUCH TO DO!

My new house, which I am loving so don't get me wrong, is still a mass of unpacked boxes and things with no places yet. And there is only lil ole me to do all the work!

Guess I will just have to take my time and slog through it all. One day... one day... it will all be done....

The kitchen:

The dining area in the kitchen:

More stuff in the kitchen: (not everyone has a lifesize plastic horse head... or a cute cat with a bottlebrush for a tail!)

The recroom in the basement is a DISASTER!:

Another angle on the recroom:

When I get everything sorted out and in its place, I will post more pics to show what it SHOULD look like! I'm sweating already, just thinking about how much there is to do.... gadzooks!

PREDATORY PUSSY...

2008-07-28T17:40:00.004-05:00

Pips is a killer .... of the kitchen sponge. She hunts it down, no matter when I put it.

She flings it about and kills it dead. I find it all over the house, with teeth marks all over it.

I have tried to buy her cat toys to substitute for the sponge, but no go.... she seeks it out to kill it over and over and over.... it is an obsession....

You can just tell what's going through her mind here.... "go ahead.... just try and take it back.... I dare ya...."

A PURRFECT PUSSYCAT?

2008-07-27T00:41:00.004-05:00

Came across some pics online of a guy down in San Diego who, after having a dream many years ago, decided to go to the extreme of becoming as cat-like as he can, for a human bean.

He started out looking like this:

After a dream, where his Native American heritage played a part in giving him the name of 'Stalking Cat', he decided to transform himself into a cat.

Now he looks like this:

He has had his entire body tattooed, mostly with tiger stripes, but his arms do sport green scales, so I am assuming he had those tattooed before the dream. Not sure there's anything like an amphibious tiger out there...

His teeth have been filed down and capped with fangs, his upper lip has been altered to look like a cat's (which apparently makes him very difficult to understand when he talks), he's had 'whiskers' implanted above his upper lip, he wears contact lenses with vertical slits to get the feline gaze, his ears have been trimmed to points, and his finger nails are long and filed to points to resemble claws.

Now, apparently this guy is a mild mannered computer programmer who has spent 25 years and hundred of thousands of dollars on all these alterations. But he isn't finished yet! He wants to find a way to have actual tiger pelts transplanted onto his body to complete the transformation.

So.... this begs the question: what the hell is he going to look like at 80 and will he ever regret what he has done?

MOVIN' ON

2008-07-22T12:08:00.003-05:00

A new start, both in habitat and relationship. Allowing old feelings to be what they are but to be less in the fore; allowing the new a chance to perhaps grow into something special; willing to let go, to cut the string, to trust in the unknown. Time to see what the future may hold and to allow the past to become just that - past.

HERE'S LOOKIN' AT YOU

2008-07-17T21:47:00.004-05:00

This evening, while I was out walking my dog, I saw one of these in a tree around the corner from my (new!!!) house. I only noticed because three or four Blue Jays were squawking and carrying on in this one tree. So I stopped to have a look, as I like to watch the birds on occasion. It is not every day that you see a Great Horned Owl during the day, never mind in the city. So I enjoyed the glimpse I got through the foliage. Very cool!

DR, FRANKENSTEIN -- WHERE ARE YOU!

2008-07-15T13:25:00.008-05:00

Dr. Frankenstein, I would like to place an order, please. I can't seem to find what I need and want all in one man, so could you please build one for me?

These are the characteristics I would like you to include:

INTELLECT: A good brain, one well rounded and sharp, with wit and humour, a little smart-ass thrown in, some insight and lots of depth.

HEART: one that is warm and caring, hugely so.... with strength and fortitude, tender-ness and lots of passion.

PHYSICAL: a well-muscled man, active but not obsessed, fairly fit with arms and shoulders strong and well defined, a bit taller than me but not overly so, a smattering of chest hair, facial hair is fine and I don't really care about the amount of hair on the head.

Strength of character is a must, the ability to trust, to be open and honest with his emotions, not afraid of commitment (or at least, not afraid to see if the relationship will work out), resolve and fidelity, honesty with himself as well as with everyone else, the ability to give and take, to compromise when needed, even tempered, a true handyman who works well with others.... I think you get the picture...

Oh... and one more thing.... well, two actually.... must be a good kisser and enjoy making love.

I hope this isn't too tall of an order, because I haven't been able to find all of this in one package. But I do know where some of these exact characteristics exist, so if you need a head's up on some parts, just let me know.

DANCING -- WITH THE WORLD

2008-07-11T19:27:00.001-05:00

This is such a cool video....

THINGS I FOUND IN MY NEW HOUSE

2008-07-08T23:06:00.009-05:00

I took possession of my new house on Sunday. Which is VERY exciting! This is my very first house, owned by me and no one else.

Needless to say, I have been busy cleaning and getting things arranged for the big move on the 19th. Here are some things I found in the house that were left behind by the previous owner(s).

A lovely built-in bench on the deck in the back yard.

Next to the deck is a huge sandbox. Given that a neighbour told me there are a number of cats in the area, I am sure this has become a giant litterbox.... yuck.... so it will become a patio instead. I am thinking of putting in a stone firepit so built in to the patio would be a lovely idea!

In the basement, a can of Stop Leak (that obviously didn't do a thing to stop the grey paint from leaking all over the place...), some lantern oil (and no lantern), and a can of WD40 (with no little straw)... plus a nut (but no bolt...).

In the basement was this long case, which I mistook for a map or document case.

Lo and behold.... it holds a brand new, never been used fishing rod!

I have not figured out why this fishing rod is called an 'Ugly Stik' - it looks fairly trim and attractive (as far as fishing rods go, but I am no fisherwoman)...

This is a bit of a nightmare! I found a 15 amp outlet wired in on the same cable as the 30 amp dryer outlet!

Needless to say, this has to go. I have a friend who has his electrical ticket, as he is in the elevator trade, so in exchange for a (future) home cooked meal or two, he will be coming over to disconnect the 15 amp outlet and rewire the dryer outlet so that everything will be kosher and (much more importantly) safe!

One of the smaller bedrooms has this on the outside of the door.... makes you wonder who (or what... eek!) they were trying to keep inside!

I wasn't expecting a microwave, but it works and I needed one, so what the hey! The roll of film and pot lid are not needed, so I think they will get tossed.

The basement recroom is finished in lovely retro 70s stylings, complete with mirrored tiles on the wall...

... some of which are surrounded by lovely chocolate brown cork tiles.... gag me! LOL!

Another neat find is this under the cupboard mounted radio in the kitchen. I have made good use of it already, listening to tunes while cleaning and puttering.

I poked the camera outside the bedroom window to take this shot... a satellite tv dish that I probably won't use.... just don't watch enough tv.... but in the dead of winter when it is -40 bazillion degrees, one never knows....

In the basement recroom, there is a mass of cables apparently connected to whatever type of entertainment centre they had down here - I don't even know what they are all for...

The livingroom has a similar mass of cables, with at least forty feet coiled up.... they must have had a portable tv that they walked around with.... can't figure out why you would have this much cable otherwise....

In the powder room on the main floor was a bottle of gently foaming antibacterial hand soap.... scent: warm vanilla sugar.... it is so sickly sweet and cloying that I can't stand it... so it is history now!

All three bedrooms have phone jacks.... and they are originals for sure! I think I will get the phone company to at least attached them to the wall somewhere...

The next step will be painting the livingroom.... and the brilliant blue bedrooms (2).... and the totally grey kitchen.... all in good time... and hopefully I will have the energy for all this! But hey... it is mine (well, and the bank's... can't forget about the bank....)

CURSED OR PAUSED?????

2008-07-04T10:06:00.005-05:00

Who decided women should go through all this physical crap every month, anyway? Was it a male who designed the human reproductive systems and put all the major crap on one model and not the other? I'd really like to see all the males on this planet live through what we women go through on a monthly basis. I'm thinking the suicide rate would jump exponentially if that was the case.....

So... lately my body has been taking things into its own hands and driving me freakin' crazy. I am 50 years old and I think my body is trying to decide if I should enter the realm of menopause. Which sucks, in some ways, because everything is all out of kilter.

I have short spans of time (I was going to say 'periods' but reserve that word for other usage) where I am cramping and bloated and feeling decidely like I am going to start my period. Then after a few hours it goes away. WTF! This has been going on for almost 3 weeks now. I am that much time past when I should have started my period. So I have to carry supplies with me absolutely wherever I go. Because you know if I don't, I will be hit with a major flood and be the most embarrassed and pissed off woman on the planet.

At times my clothes just don't fit because I look like I've put on 15 lbs in a matter of hours. My belly bloats up like a dead groundhog on a hot summer's day.... thank the gods I don't smell like one too!

Now, I already have large enough bazooms and don't really need an increase in size in that department, but I get it anyway. And along with the cup spillage that occasionally occurs, they are also tender enough that just the light bounce of descending a staircase makes me clutch them in mild agony. Which makes horse back riding a challenge, to say the least!

Along with that discomfort is the fact that every repoductive organ I own swells up to the point of making sitting on any type of surface that is not overly padded a logistical challenge. How do you park your butt so that your petunia doesn't feel like it just got slam dunked? Gingerly, is how, and often slightly tilted to the side.

And, of course, every middle aged woman's nemesis - hot flashes. Or power surges. Or whatever you want to call them. Nothing beats having your internal thermostat zoom up to boiler room levels in a matter of seconds. My ears become flaming beacons, flush with boiling blood that is ready to explode out of my veins. At times I wish I was like an elephant and could flap my ears to cool them down.

And then, just as rapidly, after I have soaked through the armpits of my shirt, the temperature plummets and I am left a wet and chilly woman, miserable now with a damp bra and sticky shirt, longing for a nice shower and lots of soap. Not much chance of that happening while I am at work!

The night sweats are a major pain in the kiester as well. Waking at 3 a.m. with a pool of sweat between those bazooms that a swim team could use for practice is extremely aggravating. Never mind that my sleep has been interrupted, but now the sheets are wet and my pillow is damp and I have to throw off the covers to cool off. So I fall back asleep, sweat drying in the open air, only to wake again a little later on, freezing my nipples off because now I am no longer broiling and the sweat has dried, and I am exposed to the elements.

What I want to know is... why can't I get rid of this equipment that I have never used... and will not ever use? Why can't we have elective hysterectomies to delete these major annoyances and discomforts from our lives? I am sure I am not the only woman out there who would be standing in line for that. You can have your breasts electively removed if you are at risk of breast cancer.... wouldn't it be prudent to ward off major PMS bouts with a little elective snip and stitch? They must be able to do that laparoscopically now, I would think..... What I also want to know is.... when the hell will this all be over and I can become a dried up prune? Wait a minute... that isn't really something to look forward to, now is it? Has to be a happy medium somewhere....

RISK

2008-06-29T01:35:00.004-05:00

This song pretty much sums up how I personally think life should be lived... and for the most part, I have taken chances, made mistakes and learned from them, loved with all my heart and been hurt, done things I didn't think I could do... and I would not change anything... because everything I have done, no matter how it has turned out.... has made me the person I am today... and I think I have turned out pretty good.

I’d rather stand on the edge of a cliff
And hang my toes over a bit,
And then jump when they dare me,
Even if it scares me and I get hurt.
I’d rather build my wings on the way down,
Do my best not to fall to the ground
and then laugh at my mistakes
‘cause they're only lessons I’ll learn

Chorus:
I’d rather burn with desire deep in my soul,
And love like a fire that’s out of control,
and laugh and dance and fall and chance and kiss
I’d rather live my whole life
with a sense of abandon,
Squeeze every drop out,
no matter what happens.
And not wonder what I've missed
... I’d rather risk.

I guess I could just play it safe
and forget about love, hope and faith,
with my eye on the shore line,
keeping my boat tied and staying home,

ohhh but I’ll never discover new land
by keeping my feet on the sand
No, I’d rather set sail
and get carried away by the storm.

Chorus:
I’d rather burn with desire deep in my soul,
And love like a fire that’s out of control,
and laugh and dance and fall and chance and kiss
I’d rather live my whole life
with a sense of abandon,
Squeeze every drop out,
no matter what happens.
And not wonder what I've missed
I’d rather risk.

I would rather risk

I’d rather burn with desire deep in my soul,
And love like a fire that’s out of control,
Live my whole life
with a sense of abandon,
Squeeze every drop out
no matter what happens.
And not wonder what I've missed
Oh I just can’t resist,
The chance to risk

Ohhh live, and love and laugh and dance and fall and chance and kiss

I’d rather risk...

Words & Music by Paul Brandt
Current Video: Risk - Paul Brandt

THE NEWEST INMATE

2008-06-22T00:49:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I came home from the barn where I board my horse with a cat. One that I felt compelled to rescue (with the barn owner's full consent... just don't tell her daughters - they figure they have to keep EVERYTHING) because she (the cat, that is) didn't seem to have much in the way of self-preservation instincts.

The barn owner's dogs, two poodle crosses (need I say more?) would pounce on this poor little cat, tugging at her hair, chewing on her head, pulling on her ears..... and the cat would cry but just lie there and get mauled! She's got medium length hair so all this poodle chomping matted her hair something awful. So the barn owner took her in and had her body shaved. Needless to say, she's been having a bad hair 'day' for about three weeks now!

When I was out to see Thunder about a week and a half ago, it was still quite cool out and when I picked the cat up (she's very cuddly), she was shivering. That's when the discussion of me taking her home started. But I couldn't that day as I had to do errands after leaving the barn and also didn't have a kennel with me, so we decided I would get her the next time I was out.

Except that every time I was at the barn, the cat was gone.... off hunting, gallivanting about the countryside with gleeful abandon, I would imagine, heedless of the dangers lurking in the great outdoors. Such as coyotes, eagles, hawks.... all of which have been known to snack on little, poorly coiffed kitties.

I would wander around the place, calling her and making all the kissy noises that cats seem to come running to. I'd look in the barn, in the arena, out back in the paddocks, in the haystack, across the road in the bush. All to no avail. So each time I would leave empty handed.

On Friday, I was at the barn with my girlfriend from Texas, who is up visiting her mum. We hung around and visited with Thunder, went for lunch with my friend, the horse trainer, and then came back to the barn to find that cat. Again.... no luck. So I asked my trainer friend to call me the next time she was at the barn (she just works there) and she saw the cat. My Texas friend and I jumped in the truck and drove off.

About 6 miles down the road, my cellphone rang - the cat came back (isn't that a song?.....) so I turned around to go pick her up. I wasn't taking any chances on her disappearing again and possibly getting hurt before I could take her home.

She may be a little thing, but MAN can she holler! What a huge voice in that little 7.5 lb body! She didn't shut up the whole drive home. But you couldn't blame her..... she'd been stuffed unceremoniously into a cage and plopped onto the back seat of a vehicle, which then sped her away from everything she knew.

I have named her Pips, which is short for Pipsqueak, because she is the smallest cat I have ever had! My old guy, BB, weighs 9.9 lbs (officially as of yesterday, because he went to the vet's for his annual checkup and shots) and up until now, he was the second smallest cat that had lived with me. The previous record holder had been a mere 8 lbs.

Pips is extremely friendly and loves to rub her face all over you, get scratches all over, be rubbed and hugged and generally loved up lots. She purrs like an outboard motor and chirps and meows when spoken to. She's not at all perturbed about Zoe and the first evening was sleeping on the loveseat with the dog.

There's no love lost between the two black and whites at this point in time. And no, I was not trying for a matched set.... But whereas yesterday they hissed and growled from across the room, today they are down to about 2 feet between them before they begin the pleasantries. I am confident that in a couple of weeks they will be snuggling together on the bed for naps and cleaning each other's faces, as only a cat can.

SHE'D BE 54...

2008-06-20T20:21:00.009-05:00

June 21st would have been my oldest sister's birthday. Laurel was four years older than me and a solid rock of love and support in my life. And her untimely death was the result of two druggies getting behind the wheel of a big SUV and taking to the highway, in no condition to even walk, let alone drive.

She had a wonderful career. Her education was exactly that - education. She had her B.Ed. and spent her career working with young single women who had not finished high school, who usually had kids but not always, teaching them life skills, basic accounting and budgeting, interview skills and building their confidence in themselves and their abilities.

She had the most amazing talent with people - she was supportive, loving, firm, kind, encouraging and empathetic. She has been a single mum herself, when she got grants to attend the University of Manitoba's Education program to become a teacher. She worked hard and was on the Dean's Honour Roll every single semester, all the while juggling school with raising two young children by herself. So her career direction came as no surprise to any of us in the family when she told us of her new job.

She eventually met and married Les, who was her best friend and soulmate. He even adopted Laurel's daughter when they married, as her biological father has skipped out when she was about one year old. He became 'Dad' to Laurel's son, even though his biological father was still in the picture but not much of a role model. My nephew had the intelligence to realize a good father is not the same as a biological father, so HE adopted Les as his Dad and called his bio-dad by his given name.

Laurel was always there for me. Even as teenagers, she was my friend and as we became adults, we also became best of friends, not just sisters. It isn't every 20 year old who wants her 16 year old sister hanging around. But Laurel welcomed me into her social circle and I became friends with her friends and saw them almost as much as my own circle of friends.

Throughout my life, through all the ups and downs, joys and hurts, she was someone I could turn to at any time, to laugh with and cry with, to ask for advice and support. And she was always willing to do what I needed, even if I didn't know what that was. She was wise beyond her years, full of insight, love and kindness.

So on October 19th, 2005, when I got a phone call at work in the evening and heard that she had died in a car accident, my universe shifted. My heart was torn, my soul shrunken.... a huge part of my life was left in limbo, because there was no way to keep that part of the path open, without her to walk with me through life, sharing and caring, each with the other.

She would have been 54 today and would have been in the prime of her life, enjoying a rewarding career, a loving husband, and two wonderful children, who had grown into amazing young adults. Her two grandchildren, only one of whom actually knew her, will have to grow up without their Nana. Her son and daughter will have to go through life's minor and major events without their Mum. I have to go through the rest of my life without my Sister/Friend.

So, Laurel, wherever your energy is now, soaring through the universe, I am thinking of you, on this, your birthday, wishing you were still here to celebrate with, to talk with and laugh with, to love, to just be with....

TAKING FLIGHT....

2008-06-19T13:49:00.003-05:00

A warm voice through the atmosphere... intriguing conversation... distance in the present.... commonalities... interest... emotions beginning to stir... will this one fly?

MEMORIES OF MY FATHER

2008-06-15T19:15:00.008-05:00

I wasn't sure I would put anything up on here today. My dad's been dead for 19 years and my stepfather for 13 years. My parents had divorced when I was 18 and both remarried so for a while I had two dads.

But only one father; only one who was a person I truly cherished. My step dad was a good guy but because I lived away for the entire time my mum was married to him, I only knew him from visits. So not all that well.

Dad, on the other hand, was a great guy. My parents were very different from each other - my mum was the gregarious, social butterfly; Dad was the quiet, reserved guy who took a while to get to know, but once he was your friend, you could count on him for life.

He was tall, slim and handsome, with piercing blue eyes and a ready smile that lit up his entire face. He loved to play with us kids, horsing around until Mum would tell all of us to cut it out. He was stern when he needed to be, but loving and warm and cuddly as well.

I have tons of memories of sitting on his knee, talking to him or looking at things, having him explain how things worked to me. He was very mechanically inclined and fixed just about everything around the house, including the car. He built stuff too. I would hang out while he was working on the engine of whatever car we had at the time, watching, listening to him tell me what he was doing, absorbing it all without realizing it.

As an adult, I lived away from Winnipeg for the most part but would come home to visit whenever possible. I was always enveloped in a huge bear hug whenever I saw my dad, whisker burned from his beard when he kissed me, and just generally loved to bits.

I had been accepted to nursing school when Dad was diagnosed with cancer. That was the summer of 1989 and he was only 56. I came back to Winnipeg to be with him, to spend time with my Dad, because we knew he wasn't going to live much longer. He told me how proud he was of me for (finally!) choosing a career and going for it. I was 31 when I entered nursing because I just hadn't figured out what I wanted to do in life before that.

On his final day, all six of his kids surrounded his bed in the hospital. He was not really conscious at this point but to the end, all he cared about was his children. As he let out his final breath, my oldest sister let out a wail and you could see Dad struggle to come back, to save his baby, his first born. I had to hug her to me and tell her shhhh, to just let him go, that he needed to go.

I don't have anyone to celebrate Father's Day with anymore. But all of you who have fathers, cherish them and let them know how much you care. And for those of you who are fathers, I sincerely wish you a Happy Father's Day and hope your children show you their appreciation for all you do for them, and how much they love you.

BIKING IN THE BUFF

2008-06-14T15:44:00.003-05:00

Yesterday in Winnipeg was the first ever Naked Bike Ride, to protest oil dependency and 'car culture'. A few people doffed their duds in support of this cause, and rode their bikes in the buff.

I certainly hope they had clean bums before deciding to do this. And that they hadn't borrowed a bike for the event..... can't imagine what you would find on the seat after a few sweaty miles of pedalling their asses around town.... eewwwwww! Better get out the Clorox...

THIS GIRL JUST WANTS TO HAVE FUN!!

2008-06-13T21:36:00.006-05:00

That's what I want... to be totally silly.... maybe to get totally drunk, something I have not done in many years.... just let my hair down, so to speak, let it all hang out.... but I need someone to be with me to have fun with.... someone I know and trust and care about... someone who will kinda keep an eye on me and not let me get into trouble.... I am so in need of a stress reliever, it is not even funny... just too many things going on that cause me consternation..... I just wanna have fun!

My Other Life

2008-06-11T18:17:00.006-05:00

Living on a single income is at times quite a trial. Finances must be juggled and activities and purchases weighed for importance and need.

I own and board a horse, which is not an inexpensive thing. When I was still married, we lived on a farm and these costs were just part of everyday life. The horses lived on the farm with us, so the cost of caring for them was more a time issue than anything else. We grew our own hay and had a large pasture for the summer.

I sometimes wonder why I even bother to have Thunder. I toy with the idea of selling him and getting out of horses altogether. It is expensive and takes time to drive out to see him, groom him and make sure he is up to date on shots, having his feet trimmed regularly (the farrier comes every six weeks), gets dental care yearly and is wormed every two months. I can do a lot of this myself, except for trimming his feet (that's the farrier's domain) and the dental work and rabies vaccination, both of which require the services (and fees) of a vet.

I sometimes beat myself up that I don't see him often enough. It is time consuming to work, try to have a social life, care for a dog that I have to walk several times a day and then think about driving the 40 minutes (one way) to see Thunder. On nice days, I often want to go for a bike ride instead.

And then I go out to the barn. This is my other life - a different universe totally separate from the rest of my existence.

I brush him and braid his mane to keep it tidy and free of tangles. I get all the knots out of his tail. I spend time just hanging out with him. He is warm and soft. His eyes are large, liquid brown, with such a soft, kind gaze. He has that rich horse smell that is pungent and fresh and wonderful. He is interested and happy to see me. He comes when I call his name. He pokes his nose into his halter before I even have a chance to put it on him.

Then I ride him. He is so smooth and so athletic. He tries so hard whenever I teach him something new. He doesn't get frustrated and hard to handle.... he just keeps trying to figure out what I am asking.... and then picks it up even faster when I reward him for even getting it just a little bit. He gives me his all - his 110% - his full attention most of the time (he's a horse, okay? he gets distracted sometimes).

He is sweet and funny and cute. And since last year, he has taken to nickering at me whenever I go to get off. I don't know what or why this started, but he is very consistent. It is a very friendly sound, like he's thanking me for a fun ride. All I have to do now is drop my right foot out of the stirrup and he lifts his head and nickers. It is so hilarious!

And today, for whatever reason, he started doing this whenever I would ask him to back up. Then I know, deep in my heart, why I struggle to keep him, to find the dollars to have this special soul in my life. He loves me.... there is no doubt about that. And he enjoys my company. And he is willing to try anything I put to him. He trusts me to keep him safe, which I will always do, to the best of my abilities. It is the least I can do for a being that doesn't speak the same language as me but tries so hard to communicate with me and let me know everything is just fine. A heart that belongs to me, and mine to him.

THE WAR ON BUGS

2008-06-11T00:25:00.003-05:00

Starting early this year with a new fly sheet for Thunder. This one covers him from the top of his neck to his butt. Even has a belly band to protect his tummy. Just what every stylish young horse should want!

AGING GRACEFULLY? --- NOT!

2008-06-10T20:37:00.003-05:00

PIERCE BROSNAN:

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER:

CLINT EASTWOOD:

ROD STEWART:

RICHARD GERE:

ROGER MOORE:

PS - I Love You

2008-06-08T22:27:00.003-05:00

I just watched that movie.... a few of the women I work with have seen it recently and kept telling me what a good movie it is... a real tear jerker, so have a box of kleenex handy... oh, how I did not need to watch that movie....

In 1992, the man that I loved and was married to killed himself. It is bad enough when someone you love dies of a disease, or in an accident. It is hard enough to deal with the loss under those circumstances, but it was not their choice.

But how do you deal with it when it IS their choice? When he decided that life was not worth living, and that the people who cared about him were not enough to keep him with us, how do you deal with that? How do you cope when you find a note, that leads to a tape recording, that leads to a search with the police and family and friends and eventually the RCMP to find him?

I never had any say in it... he would not let me help him. He would not let anyone help him. He once told me that he had never been happy before, so why should he be happy now. This was in the first year of our marriage. I was so devastated. I was in college, studying nursing, taking psychology, learning the signs and symptoms of depression. I was living with all of them. The most resistant kind. But I had no idea he was suicidal. He gave no indication. No call for help. No failed attempts so that he could get help. Because he didn't want to be helped.

He felt he was beyond help, I suppose. And that the only way out was to end his life. Those are the ones who don't let you know they are going to kill themselves. Because there is no doubt in their minds that this is what has to be done - that this is the only thing that will banish their pain and anguish forever.

So he went fishing in the mountains, which was a favourite pastime of his. Something he did often, so I thought nothing of it. He stayed overnight, which he did often, so I thought nothing of it. He told me he would. So I thought nothing of it.... until I found the note... that lead me to the tape recording.... of his sobbing and breaking voice, telling me he would be dead when I found this, that it was for the best... that he would be happy when it was done....

But what about me???? What about my happiness??? How could he do this to me, and to his family, and his friends? HOW????

I have a span of time where there is no memory... just snippets of events... like my mum, come from Winnipeg, sitting with me at my mother-in-law's house.... like carrying his urn of ashes down the aisle in the big Catholic church.... like being at the place in the mountains where they found him and burying his ashes there.

They say time heals all wounds. But that isn't true. When you lose someone you love, no matter how, when they die, that wound never heals. Over time it is no longer fresh, but the scab is fragile and easily torn away. I have several of those wounds, from losing him, losing both my parents, and losing my sister.

There are things that freshen those wounds - songs that make me cry because they stir up emotions that I tend to keep under wraps most of the time. This movie tore that one scab right off.... ripped it from my heart, so that the wound is fresh again and bleeding freely... and my heart is broken again... and I am alone.... again.

PS, Ron - I love you still.....

THE DATING GAME

2008-06-07T23:07:00.005-05:00

I am about to give up. This is just stupid.... how difficult it is to meet someone. I have been on several of the online dating websites now, and have become just as discouraged with them as with meeting a decent man anywhere else.

You register, think up what you hope is a good profile to attract some interest, post a few recent photos of yourself, and then start fishing. You read through zillions of horribly written profiles, full of terrible spelling (ever hear of Spellcheck, buddy?) and worse grammar, trying to weed out what seem like losers.

Then, you come across a few hopefuls, profiles where the man can obviously string a few words together to make an intelligent sentence, where he has pictures posted and doesn't look too heavy or neanderthal. Face it - women are just as attracted to a pleasant face as guys are - especially in this medium, where that and those few words are all you have to start with. Physical attraction has to be one of the starting points - at least for me. You can be as witty as you want with words, but if you are 450 lbs with a huge nose and a unibrow, I am afraid there won't be a first meeting with this girl.

Now, I am not at all shy, and will definitely be one to make the first move if I see a profile that looks interesting. So I have sent emails to quite a few men, and most often hear nothing back. I have hit the instant message button when they are online, and most of the time, nothing happens. They are either away from their computers and didn't log out, or more than likely chatting away with someone else and ignore my request to chat. Or they just decide they don't like my face (cuz your pic shows up in that little IM box) and close it down.

The thing that bothers me is this: when someone emails me, saying hi and wanting to chat or meet, I think it is common courtesy to reply. Even if just to say 'I'm sorry' and that they aren't my type for whatever reason. I believe in being polite. I believe in wishing them luck in their search. Because we are all in this for the same reason - to try and find someone we can relate to, get to know and fall in love with, hopefully for the rest of our lives.

Now, I have a fairly attractive face. I am a nice person. I am intelligent, have a decent sense of humour and like a variety of activities. When I read profiles, I try to make sure that the men I contact have a few of the same things on their interests list as I have on mine. Because there has to be something in common to get you started.

So why is it so hard to locate a man who will actually contact me back? Why do so many chose to ignore an email and not bother responding? And why are some of these guys (and I am sure there are women who fit in this category as well, although I don't go looking at THEM) on these sites for years, on 112 favorites lists and yet still seem to be looking?

Here's a run-down of what has happened with me since I started this venture into cyber-datedom:

The first guy I connected with online last summer turned out to be working in a different province for most of the year and only made it home every few weekends, with the occasional week or two at home in between being sent on the road again. We met for coffee occasionally, and still do, and have actually got along quite well in person as well as online but mostly just chat once in a while online. He won't commit to even a real date, because, in his own words, he is all f**ked up in the head. He doesn't seem to be when I talk to him and I like him. So that has gone nowhere, although we have become friends and just yak at times.

Another man, only 5 years older than myself, which to me didn't seem to be much, turned out to be from another generation (like... my parents'). We started seeing each other early last winter and it became clear to me in a few short weeks that this simply would not work out. Nice guy and everything, bright and articulate, but it felt really weird to me to be cuddly with a guy who acted like my dad. This guy, it turned out, was the youngest of six and his oldest brother was 18 years his senior. And there were 8 years between him and the next sibling. So he grew up old. Not his fault, really, and he came from a small town down East, which added to the oldness, but it was just too disquieting to me.

I spent some time offline, deleting my profiles from the sites I was on, but in January, I decided to try again. So I found another site, recommended by a guy I work with (he met his girlfriend on this particular site), and went through the rigmarole of writing another profile, taking more pictures and posting them.

And then the fishing begins anew. I cast my line in a pond with a few nice fish and huge schools of sharks. I started getting emails and IMs from all kinds of guys - but not the kind I wanted. The young guys - in their early to mid 20's - looking for a 'cougar' for sex. For some reason, really short men seem attracted to me (I am 5'9") and there were emails from men not even 5'6". I can go my own height but I have to be able to look the man in the eye. It is just a personal preference for me.

Then there was the guy who was married and looking for someone discreet to have an affair with. No thanks, bud. I don't do married. And I also won't keep emailing or IMing if I don't know what he looks like. I need to see a picture. Some of the guys who don't have a picture on their profile, do that for good reason - they are scary looking!!!

Then there are the guys who can't spell, can't type, can't string together a sentence if their life depended on it. That, to me, is an indicator of intelligence. And I need the man I interact with to have a good brain in his head. Cuz no matter how good looking you are, if you're as bright as a sack of hammers, it just won't work.

I cruised through profiles, cruised through who was online at the moment, read their profiles and emailed them if they read/looked promising. That was how I met one hell of a great guy - he was witty, funny, had a great command of the English language, wrote a wonderful profile and had some great pictures up on his profile too. I only found him because I went cruising, because he was a smoker and I had my list of requirements for contacting me to be set as non-smokers only. So I contacted him.

We hit it off pretty quickly - the sparks few and things got intense very fast. Too fast, actually, and in the long run (well, two months' time), once we got to know each other better, it turned out that he felt I was not the right kind of woman for him. In all honesty, he was very sensitive and fair about the break-up, but it was still difficult. Better sooner rather than later, though, so we both moved on.

So online I went yet again.... emailed and chatted with a guy who one day seemed to freak out on me when we were chatting - all of a sudden was just sending me silly little icons and then 'I have to go, I can't do this anymore' appeared on the screen. Never heard from him again. I don't think I would have continued anyway after that fiasco. Don't really know what went on in his mind, but best leave it where it is.

The next contact turned out to be extremely anal and so uptight about things that I knew, after just two outings (one was a bike ride at Birds Hill Park) that there was just no chemistry at all for me. Nice looking man, seemed bright, but just way too hung up on some things.

Last week, I contacted someone who seemed promising. A fair number of things in common on our profiles, close in age, decent pics. We chatted and then talked on the phone and made arrangements to meet the next evening for a drink and to see if a first date would happen. Sounded cool. Well, I got home from work the next afternoon and logged on to my computer. Shortly thereafter, I get an email from him stating this: a woman he had met online last week, who hadn't seemed too interested then, had emailed him that day and wanted to get together that night. When we had made plans. So he was going to meet with her instead of with me. But did I want him to contact me after if things didn't work out with her? (This happened about 2 1/2 hours before we were supposed to get together.)

Not bloody likely, a$$hole! I may be naive here, but I was right pissed off at him. I felt he was rude and inconsiderate. Now, I can understand wanting to meet with her and see what happens there. This is dating and that is how it works. But when you already have made plans to meet with someone else, would it not be common courtesy to say you are busy that evening and make arrangements for another time????

I was pretty angry about that but, being the nice person that I am, I took the dog for a nice, long walk while I contemplated the situation. Then I emailed him back and told him that I thought he was rude and inconsiderate (politely) and that no, he couldn't contact me if that fell through. And then deleted him from my favorites list, which is where I put men I have contacted and that have potential.

So back to square one. Which is where I am at today. It is frustrating and daunting to be back in the dating game at the age of 50. I won't go to bars... and who wants to meet some drunk guy anyway? Most of the guys I work with would not be the type I would date either - besides which they are all spoken for. The horse activities I participate in attract mostly women and the few (single) men I have met I wouldn't date if my life depended on it. So I think I am going to just call it quits on this cyber-dating crap. If there is someone out there for me, he is just going to have to find me on his own.

WORDS TO LIVE BY

2008-06-06T21:49:00.004-05:00

Life is short, so....
Forgive quickly.
Kiss slowly.
Love truly.
Laugh uncontrollably.
Never regret anything that made you smile.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Live like there's no tomorrow.
Always be honest, with everyone... including yourself.
Practice random acts of kindness.
Try to find the positive in every situation.
Say 'I love you' to those who matter - you may not get another chance.
Smile often - it's contagious!
Be kind to animals.

THE BRUSH OFF

2008-06-04T17:32:00.003-05:00

I was supposed to meet someone this evening, for the first time. Not a first date, per se, just a meet and greet and see if there is any chemistry to actually go on a first date. We had set a time and place.

When I got home from work this afternoon, there was an email from him that a woman he had met last week who hadn't seemed too interested then, was now wanting to get together with him tonight. So he brushed me off.

Which I thought was rude and inconsiderate on his part. I can understand wanting to get together with her and see where things go, but to brush me off a mere 2 1/2 hours before we are supposed to meet just doesn't sit well at all.

Where are people's manners? Why do they think it is okay to make plans and just toss them away with no regard to anyone else involved? This guy even asked me if I wanted him to contact me if things 'didn't work out' with that woman! Well, I don't think so, buddy! Not when you are that inconsiderate of my feelings, and just having the common courtesy to go through with your original plans. It's not like a family emergency or something understandable like that.

I think I will go read my book and see if there is anything decent on TV tonight. At least I know I won't get the brush off from those.... ((sigh))

A LITTLE PUNCHY?????

2008-06-01T00:20:00.003-05:00

How moronic do you have to be to let someone punch you in the side of the head on purpose????? After watching this video - and all the people are willing participants - I can't help but wonder what kind of neck pain and headaches they all suffered after this sheer stupidity!

Would you let someone do that to your noggin?? Cuz when you watch it is slo-mo, you can REALLY see how whacked out of shape their heads and neck are from the force of the blow. All I can say is (besides IDIOTS!!!) is yeeoooowwwww......

WHAT A GOOFY GIRL!!!

2008-05-31T01:12:00.004-05:00

RELATINGS

2008-05-29T00:25:00.005-05:00

Relationships are the strangest things people have to deal with. There are so many types and so complex, it boggles the mind that we can actually establish and maintain them at all!

Family: I come from a fairly large family, with 5 siblings: three sisters and two brothers. We all get along just fine and have never had the tensions and fights that seem to be so prevalent in so many families. There is a lot of love in my family, both immediate and extended.

My parents, both smokers, both alcoholics, but both loving and always there for me, and both are now gone. They both died much too young; my dad was only 56 and died of cancer; my mum was 71, looked 150, and died of emphysema from smoking, after having survived bowel cancer. I miss them both in so many ways all of the time.

My oldest sister was killed in a motor vehicle accident 2 1/2 years ago, which rocked the family to its core. She was 4 years older than myself and we were very close. We had been more great friends since our teens than just sisters. It was a wonderful and fulfilling relationship, which was never altered by the distance between our homes (which, on occasion, was quite large). Her death has torn a piece of my heart right out of my chest, to leave me forever missing her and not really believing she is gone.

Of my other siblings, the ones that remain, I am now closest to my youngest sister. We both have no kids, we both have dogs, we have similar tastes and perspectives on life. We talk on the phone and get together with the 'kids' for play dates at the dog parks in town. We go for lunch or just hang out. She is 5 years younger than me.

The other three, well, we love each other and enjoy each other's company but just don't seem to keep in touch all that often. Two live in Alberta, so contact is phone/email/facebook most of the time.

The weirdest thing is my youngest brother lives one block from me. I almost never see him or hear from him. Not because of any ill feelings, but just because his life and mine only ever seem to really cross paths when there is a family gathering or some other event where we both show up. He has his own business and keeps odd hours. I work shift work. When I first moved to this neighbourhood last summer, I would call him. Rarely was he home, and rarely did he return my calls. Just busy with his life. So now I see him when I see him and that is about it. Makes me kind of sad, in a way, because he's a great guy and we always have fun, but it just never seems to happen.

Friends: My oldest and dearest friend lives in Texas now. She's a nurse like me.... actually she is the one who kind of talked me into becoming a nurse, in an indirect way. I love her dearly and we have known each other for 36 years. We have known each other through lots of ups and downs, moves, relationships, kids, family crap, you name it. To this day, there isn't anything I would not tell her. I don't see her often but we talk on the phone for hours at a time whenever we talk. And I mean hours! Nothing like having to peel a hot phone off your ear after four hours of yakking. Thank the gods we both have unlimited long distance!

My best friend locally I met when I sold her a horse in 1999. We knew instantly that we would be friends. It just was.... And so we have become very close, especially with my move back to Winnipeg from BC in 2003. We see each other a few times a week and talk or email often. We both have horses (well, I am down to one and she is a trainer so has several), and ride and show and just hang out at the barn together. We have very different personalities but we mesh so well and know each other so well, it is totally amazing.

Intimate Relationships: This is where things are the most complex, at least in my mind. I have had a number of long term, serious relationships. All of which have ended and right now I am on my own.

I have been in emotionally and mentally abusive relationships that I struggled through and finally had the strength to leave. I have had the horrifying experience of having one partner commit suicide. I have struggled to keep relationships alive through talking, counselling, fighting, giving in, whatever I thought or hoped would work. I have been with totally different types of men and not been able to make those work for a variety of reasons.

I have also had the experience of meeting someone who totally stole my heart, so quickly it was breath-taking, only to have him realize I was not the right woman for him. For me, he was, in many ways, the type of man I truly wanted: intelligent, articulate, warm-hearted, very caring, silly, witty, and hugely attractive to me physically (damn those pheromones, anyway!). But it seemed written in the cards that it was not to be and so I had to deal with the emotional fallout from that, which was heart-breaking.

Every relationship I have had has formed who I am today. Whether good or bad, the experiences have strengthened my character but have also taught me things. I have become more self-reliant and self-sufficient. I have learned to look more closely at myself and my actions and behaviours. I have also learned to be true to myself. Because, if you cannot be true to yourself, you cannot be true to anyone else, and you cannot have any kind of a healthy, lasting relationship with anyone without honesty and truthfulness.

So, in all honesty and truthfulness, I am grateful for all of the relationships I have had in my life, and in spite of the amount of heartache I have endured, they have made me the loving, well-balanced, kind-hearted soul I am today.

IS MOTHER NATURE CLEANING HOUSE?

2008-05-25T20:03:00.009-05:00

Mother Nature has been wrecking havoc on the humans on this planet. Cleaning house, as it were - with the loss of lives staggeringly astronomical.

The Myanmar Cyclone death toll may hit 100,000. That may climb even higher due to the disease and pestilence that are resulting from the lack of aid and hampered clean-up efforts of humanitarian countries and organizations.

The Sichuan Earthquake death toll is estimated at 80,000. And there are five dams that are on the verge of bursting because of structural damage from the quakes. The aftershocks continue to destroy homes and displace people in the area.

The tornado season in USA has started early and with a vengeance. The record snowfalls for parts of Canada and the US (the eastern seaboard especially hard hit) have taken their toll. Now there are flood warnings in what used to be semi-arid Alberta, with spring rains causing rivers to rise dangerously.

Hurricanes have battered the US south and east coasts so many times in the past few years. What is mind boggling is that New Orleans is being rebuilt in that below sea level location once again. The logical minded just know it will be wiped off the map by another powerful hurricane, despite all the levies and efforts to protect it from the ocean.

The Santa Ana winds in California cause terrible wildfires and soil erosion, which leads to mudslides and flash floods as the winter rains pour in.

Heavy snowfalls, torrential spring rains and ice jams have caused flooding in the Dakotas and Manitoba of epic proportions in the past. What was once considered a 100 year flood has happened a couple of times in the past decade (or so).

What about the Bird Flu, SARS, hoof and mouth disease in our livestock, the viral diseases killing children in China? The burgeoning near pandemic levels of antibiotic resistant diseases that are plaguing hospitals and even the general population? When will the next plague-like disease strike humankind and wipe out hundred of thousands, if not millions? If we have no drugs to combat these diseases, only the strong or isolated will survive.

So what is Mother Nature's plan here? Is she sick and tired of how we are destroying this planet? Is she sending strong hints that there are way too many of us and we are using up space and resources at an alarming rate? Is she totally pissed off at us and has decided that the only way for us to take better care of Earth is by reducing the population, which will in turn reduce the negative effect we as a species have on the planet? The question is.... are we listening yet?

COMING SOON.... TO A TREE NEAR YOU

2008-05-23T19:53:00.005-05:00

ATTACK OF THE CANKERWORMS!
An annual event in Winnipeg is about to unfold... and no one is looking forward to it!

Each spring, shortly after the leaves open up on the trees, the cankerworms emerge and proceed to munch their way through the foliage, leaving many trees, especially the much loved elm trees, partially or completely devoid of leaves.

There are two types of worms, I learned today: the spring variety and the fall variety. Both are in the larval form in the spring, consuming the leaves on the trees, even dining side by side on the same leaf. The difference is that one pupates into the moth form in the fall and one in the spring. But both do tons of damage to the trees.

Most of the trees survive this onslaught, which typically only lasts for a week or two, by growing a new batch of leaves after the worms are done feasting and move along in their life cycle. Repeated defoliation over numerous years, however, can weaken and even kill a tree.

The real kicker with these little guys is that they like to hang from the trees on silken threads and stick to your hair, your clothes, cars, the dog, and coat the sidewalks with slimy little bodies that get squished from people stepping on them.

Try sitting outside on a patio, having a cup of coffee or a drink, and have one of these little buggers plop into your drink! Eeeeewwwww!

A lot of times you don't even know you have a few freeloaders until someone points them out, or they decide to drop off your head at the most inopportune times - like just when you are lifting that forkful of pasta to your mouth and presto! a little added protein appears. Makes you want to carry an umbrella whenever you walk down the sidewalk to avoid the creepy crawlers wandering about in your locks.

According to the city entomologists, this year should be the peak of a seven to nine year cycle these things have, so I am sure it will be a doozie! Not too many mosquitoes so far, but soon to have an abundance of squiggly things falling from the skies.

THE MEAT MARKET?

2008-05-19T20:36:00.006-05:00

As a horse owner, I have been following the horse slaughter ban in the US for quite some time. It just seems to me that there is always that group way out in left field that gets to decide how things are run down there. So far, the slaughter-ban faction has been winning the battle... and the horses are losing big time.

There are non-profit horse rescue organizations all over the States that are so overloaded with unwanted horses that they can't take any more. People are neglecting their horses and letting them suffer and starve, with no basic health care, no food, water or shelter.

The crash of the PMU (pregnant mare's urine) industry in both Canada and the US has flooded the market with horses, both young and mature, purebred and grade. There is no real way to sell your everyday horse and get a decent price and a good home for it - there are just way too many out there. A horse that is well-trained and experienced will still sell and fetch a decent price. But with no training, no handling and often no registration papers, the horses coming on the market are worthless. So they don't sell.

There are numerous reasons why the horse slaughter industry is necessary for the well-being of the horse population in both Canada and the US. (This is, of course, my opinion but it is shared by many others.) This is just a listing of some of the reasons why I think it is a necessary part of the horse industry:
1) old or broken down horses that can no longer work and are suffering
2) horses that are dangerous to handle and/or ride and are not worth (or can't be) rehabilitating with further training
3) irresponsible backyard (and even professional) breeders who continue to perpetuate poorly conformed and ill-tempered horses (she's registered, he's such a pretty colour, he's fast, she's so cute I want her to have at least one baby, etc....)

I have had the experience of having a yearling put down due to colic and a twisted gut. Without a trip to Saskatoon and $5000 surgery (if he even made it to SK), he was in intense pain and was going to die anyway. So euthanasia was my only option for the little guy. He was going to be my next show horse, was a sweetheart and was a baby. I couldn't let him suffer more. In 24 hours I had the vet out twice to treat his colic, but by the next afternoon it was obviously nothing was working. So he was put down.

And then I did something that is actually against the municipality by-laws: I hired a friend with a backhoe to dig a hole on the farm and bury him. The reason that is illegal is fear of contaminating the ground water, which is the drinking water supply. But we had 80 acres, he was small and he was buried far from the well.

You can no longer take a horse's body to the landfill for disposal. And I believe in this area, there is only one company that will come and haul the carcass away for you. Given the circumstances, what I did was the best I could do. I could have called that company to take him away, and if I had been boarding at a stable, that is what I would have had to do. And I would have. I am not sure what they do with the ones that are euthanized because they now have lethal amounts of a drug in their systems.

So this topic will be a hot one for a long time. The US is finding that people are just letting their horses loose to fend for themselves. Horses that are used to human handling, hay and feed, without the smarts to survive in the wild. So a good portion of them will suffer and die slowly, starving, loaded with parasites, wandering onto roads and highways (which is another horrible danger - no one wants to hit a 1000 lb horse in the dead of night on a highway - because then you both may die).

Euthanizing your horse when necessary is definitely something I believe in, but there has to be a way to dispose of the carcass. And if you can't do that, then the only other option is to take the horse to a sale where there are meat buyers. Even with conditions not always optimum in those facilities, at least the horse suffers for a much shorter period of time than if left, neglected (which in my mind is abuse) and possibly abandoned.

JUST FOR FUN

2008-05-19T19:26:00.001-05:00

WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN - The Bangles

LONG WEEKEND WARRIOR

2008-05-18T23:16:00.006-05:00

This weekend is the Victoria Day weekend here in Canada - and I am actually off tomorrow. That doesn't happen too often, as I am a nurse and working in a hospital means shift work and different days off every week. But this time I actually do get the statutory holiday off. (Although that also means I don't get paid time and a half while working!)

So Zoe and I went to Assiniboine Park today and wandered around for about an hour, enjoying the sunshine, the people and the scenery. The grass is wonderfully green and the trees are doing their best to catch up, despite the slow and chilly start this spring has had. We lay on the grass for a while and just watched the goings on around us, soaking up some rays and catching our breath after a brisk jaunt.

Then it was over to the ice cream stand for something refreshing. I was hoping they had plain white ice cream for the dog, as chocolate is a deadly no-no, despite her eagerness to give it a try. Well! Did you know that Nestle makes little things called "Frosty Paws" just for dogs???? Kind of a frozen protein treat designed just for pups on hot summer (or warm spring) days, in a paper cup that you just peel off and let the pooch go at it. Zoe was thrilled to get her little treat, and once I got it out of its paper prison (no easy feat, let me tell you!) and onto the grass, she chomped it down in a few bites and was looking for more! Will have to do that again next time we are there.

After heading home and letting the dog have a big drink and settle in for her afternoon nap, I decided a bike ride was in order. I have been slowly slimming down since last fall but have stalled out over the past 6 weeks, so I obviously need to up the ante as far as energy expenditure goes. So the old mountain bike got hauled out of the shed, cleaned up and inflated, greased and ready to roll. I spent about an hour humping it around various scenic parts of the city - areas that I had never been to - along the river in fairly fancy neighbourhoods, through Osborne Village a bit, cutting through The Forks on my way back home. Lovely ride, exhilarating to be biking again, and fabulous that the weather cooperated today. Too bad tomorrow is calling for rain all day. Would definitely be up for that again.

As if I hadn't done enough physical stuff for one day, after arriving home post cycling, I headed out to the yard to clean up fallen branches and trim back a few trees that had branches at eye-poking levels.

There is a tree growing next to the house that someone, in their infinite stupidity many years ago, tied a rope around as the anchor for a clothes line. Now, they didn't just tie it once - no, they wrapped it around the trunk at about eye level (for me, anyway) about eight times. I say many years ago, because this rope has cut into the bark of the tree so deeply, I am surprised that one section is still alive at all. There are a few dead branches above the rope and the rest look like they are struggling, so I got a knife and cut the rope off. It was so tight, I couldn't even get the tip of the knife under any strand, so I had to lay the blade flat across and just saw back and forth until they started giving way. How can anyone be that stupid and not realize the tree will keep growing? I don't know if it will still survive, but at least now it has a chance.

Because this is a long weekend, there were fireworks scheduled to go off at The Forks (a 10 minute walk away) at 10:00 p.m. I thought about heading over to watch, but by this time I was securely ensconced in my recliner, remote in hand and phone in the other (talking to my sister) and the dog asleep at my feet. I could hear them, and I imagine they were great, but there certainly wasn't any more energy in me to expend on that, so... I just stayed put.