LAST NIGHT THE UNIVERSE EXPLODED.....

It was like this....

I was in bed and asleep and the world exploded around my house. No shrapnel or debris flying, that I could tell. Just a huge explosion. Scared the bejeezus out of me, woke me from a dead sleep and sent me floundering upright in bed, where I squished Pips (the little cat) with my leg. She always sleeps with me.

Pips didn't complain. I could only tell I squished her because it felt... well.... squishy. The bed isn't so I knew it was a cat. And BB (the old man) usually hunkers down on the floor somewhere so I can cuff him in the head with my foot as I make my way to the bathroom in the dark.

We had a thunderstorm last night. I knew we were in for bad weather, but holy crap! I think the universe exploded completely to smithereens at least three times and the other explosions were just bits being blown off.



I had to get up at one point and check my basement for flooding (I think it was around 2:30) because it was raining so hard, I was afraid the window well would fill up again and the water would flow in around my one and only old wooden framed basement window. Had that happen a couple of weeks ago. Not fun. Need to get it replaced and fix the window well (ie: make sure it drains into the weeping tiles properly).



I actually watched out the window a couple of times but nothing happened so I would go back to bed, fall asleep, only to be blasted awake with another kaboom! kkkeeerrrrack! I have a room darkening blind on the window so I didn't see the flashes first. Hence, no warning.



I love thunderstorms. But I love them when I am awake and don't have to get up at 5:30 a.m. to go to work. Needless to say, I did not love this one. So today I am bagged.

And to top it all off, I had just fallen back asleep around 4:00 a.m., only to be wakened at 4:30ish with a gall bladder attack. Which, as of 10:40 a.m., has just finally settled down to the point where I can have some breakfast. Can't wait for the surgery date in October to get the damn nuisance out.

I need a nap....

TOMORROW IS PEACE DAY

September 21st is Peace Day - internationally - voted on in the United Nations and adopted in 2001. Watch this video and see how the actions of one man have snowballed into huge effects worldwide.

What will you do to make peace in your tiny corner of the world on this day?

A TRIP TO THE DENTIST

I had a visit with my dentist the other day. Turns out I actually had a cavity! Come on! I haven't had one of those in years. I've had lots of other issues, like root canals on teeth with huge ancient fillings that crack and allow bacteria in to abscess the damn thing. And crowns and bridges that cost an absolute fortune, even with dental insurance. But a cavity!?!?

Well, it turns out that a molar on the bottom right, that was crowned years ago because of a filling that was falling apart (no root canal on this one), developed a little cavity at the gum line, between it and the tooth behind it. I only noticed it when I flossed and then it was a bit sensitive. So when I went in for my cleaning, I mentioned it. Xrays showed a cavity.

Well, this little inconvenience necessitated another visit. Which necessitated the green rubber dam rigged in my mouth to prevent bits of metal and tooth getting impaled in my oral tissues.



Once the crown was cut away and the cavity cleaned out and filled, the hygienist mixed up this paste, put it on a holder and had me bite down and hold the thing in place for two minutes. Because I have to have a new crown made. To replace the one that was now cut into a zillion little metal shards. Which will cost me over $400 - and that is just my half of the cost - Blue Cross pays the other half. I thought the crowns on the top were going to pop off when I tried to open my mouth after the two minutes were up. That goop really gloms onto your teeth! They take impressions of the upper and lower teeth to get the shape and bite right for the new crown.



Once I head back to the dentist in a week and a half, I will end up with a new one of these:



Right now, I have a temporary crown on to keep the tooth stump protected. It doesn't fit very well (it is just a generic tooth, after all) and it is quite rough from her trimming it to fit my bite, but it does the job and won't be there for long.



The biggest inconvenience of this whole day was the amount of freezing she had to use! Because she had to spend time cutting off the crown, filling the cavity and then fitting the temporary crown, she gave me two needles of anaesthetic. So my face was frozen from the centre of my mouth to the middle of my ear and from the bottom of my chin up to just below my eye. Half of my nose was numb so only one nostril could flare if I tried to take a deep breath in. I couldn't feel the front part of my ear but the back part had normal sensation. The numbness even extended into my hair above my ear for a couple of inches.

But the biggest thing was my tongue! The right side of my tongue was totally frozen, so I had a speech impediment for most of the afternoon. I talked like I had cotton balls or marbles in my mouth. And I had to go to work at 3:30.... I didn't have any lunch because I didn't want to bite the bejeezus out of my tongue and cheek. Drinking a pop out of a can was a challenge - I couldn't tell if I was drooling on the right side or not until it rolled off my chin and hit flesh that felt!

So I went to work, mumbling and drooling and smiling with half my face. One of my patients asked me if I was okay because I didn't look so good. When I laughed, he did too, because I looked like this:



It probably took until mid evening for all the freezing to wear off. I had soup for supper to protect my delicate oral tissues from mastication. Next week I can look forward to a shorter visit, hopefully with less or even no freezing, for my shiny new crown.

Breaking Threads.....

Very tiny threads... of connection... knowing this would come eventually, somehow... so with a smile, with sadness, with affection, with a few unexpected tears... but mostly with understanding.... those threads are severed.

Reflections on Losses

I was driving today, listening to the radio. A song came on that stirred up memories that I don't really care to remember much, but often have no choice when they surface. So I got to thinking on all the kinds of losses we suffer in our lifetimes.

There is the loss of innocence when, as a child, you finally realize that Santa and the Easter Bunny are not real. (Really? They're not? Says who!)

There is the loss of virginity, as a teenager, with your first boyfriend. (Now THERE is a unique and once in a lifetime sensation!)

There is the loss of your first love - the heartbreak and angst you feel - that life just can't go on and how will you possibly survive - and two weeks later you are madly in love with someone else.

There is the loss of a job - being fired for not being able to type fast enough - when speed had not been a pre-requisite when you were hired but became an issue - for your employer, at any rate.

There is the loss of contact when you move away from your home town, province, country.... when the frequent visits that had been a regular occurrence in your life became phone calls and letters (and later on, emails, as technology progressed).

There was the mind blowing, heart wrenching devastation of the loss of a love, one who couldn't cope with life and ended his, without telling you how bad things really were.... and along with that is the loss of time, a space of days that are forever blocked from memory because of the pain and hurt that are too much to bear.

There is the loss of trust, when one you marry betrays you... with alcohol, with drugs, with other women.... and tries to demean you into staying.

There is the loss of parents too young, of grandparents quite elderly but still sorely missed, the unbelievable and inconceivable loss of a sister who meant the world to you, who was your sister-friend and confidante.

There are beginnings that become endings as life moves on and people pass through. As you go on, searching for that someone who will be the one... who will be the right match.... only to find one whom you think IS the right match, and you fall head over heels for him, only to lose him because you are not the right match for him.

There is the lost opportunity at a position - at a job you know you would be very good at, simply because others had more chances to gain the necessary experience in that position, with that employer, while your experience was elsewhere and not as relevant to this employer, despite being the exact position as the one you applied for.

There is the feeling that someone is just out of reach, someone who has the potential to be something special to you, if only he hadn't suffered a loss long ago that has coloured his world and made him hesitant. There is a connection, a friendship that you yearn to grow into something more, but realize that pushing it will cost you everything, and add another loss to the string of lifetime losses that already abound.

So patience is a virtue, no matter how difficult it is to not push. To prevent one more loss is worth it, though, because the slowly growing friendship is a base that is solid, that has the makings of a gain that may make waiting worthwhile in the long run.