Sunday, November 30, 2008


Well, it seems I jumped the gun somewhat this weekend.

I assumed, because my new man friend wasn't answering my IMs, that he was ignoring me and didn't want much to do with me.

Turns out I was very wrong.... and I am embarrassed about it too, as I should be.

He is using a work computer (notebook) at school, that they have loaned to him. The courses he is taking are all work related and they are paying his tuition and fees, so they let him have a laptop to take with him.

This past week, he was in the office and they did some upgrades to it, but neglected to tell him that now he doesn't get any of the pop-up boxes that IMs show up in. (For security reasons, of course...) So despite the fact that we had been IMing in the past while he was at school and often in the evenings, he was so busy the past few days, he didn't really pay attention to the fact that I hadn't contacted him via that route.

So me getting all pissed off at him for ignoring my IMs was completely out in left field, but neither of us could have known that. He was at work today and found the memo on his desk about the upgrades. Looks like in the near future, he won't be able to access MSN at all on that laptop.

Looks like in the near future, he will be buying his own computer for home so this won't be an issue.

But we talked on the phone and got things all straightened out and all is well. And yes, I did apologize to him... several times...

Silly me.... and damn those computer geeks at his work for screwing things up for us! How to ruin a relationship when it has barely started....


  1. I smiled to myself when I read this post. I think we are very much alike in the way we respond to situations and sometimes jump to conclusions in an effort to protect ourselves. I think this is just the nature of a passionate person. We give so much of ourselves and we encounter so many who just take advantage of that - it forces us into self-preservation mode at times. I know that in my case assuming the worst in situations like you described has stemmed from my own insecurities and from previous rotten experiences with rotten-hearted people.

    I'm glad it was all just a misunderstanding / lack of communication. Situations like this one have helped me learn just how important clear communication is in any relationship. I've also tried hard to base my decisions on fact rather than fear (easier said than done when you wear your heart on your sleeve).

  2. Anna: Thank gawd he is a stubborn Irishman (well, of Irish stock anyways) and had to email me back to explain things!

    I am like you - and I usually give everyone the benefit of the doubt - probably for far too long in some cases. But because I have been burned a few times in this dating realm, I have become more cautious and just didn't want to see it drag on.

    I will defnitely keep this in mind any time something happens in the future, though.

  3. My Dear Ponita,
    Men get very nervous, and rightly so, when they encounter any relationship situation that may involve a three letter acronym that ends in M S.

    Men learn, albeit at a painfully slow rate, that they must quietly zig and zag through uncharted territory loaded with hair triggered emotional landmines.

    Anyway I'm glad that you resolved this issue without the use of emotional blackmail, sharp objects or lawyers. You gotta watch out for those ANTs; Automatic Negative Thoughts.
    They're a bitch..
    and I know 'cause I get 'em too.

    I am learning to question my inner voices.
    We need to vet our own spin.

    Life is a Garden, DIG IT

  4. Well, I'm really glad it turned out ok!! There's nothing worse than circumstances outside the control of either party effecting communication.

  5. Donn: Usually I am the one to give everyone more benefit of the doubt than they actually deserve, but because I have been in the situation in the recent past of being strung along and not communicated with, my tolerance level for that has dropped considerably. Because it sucks big time to get strung along and then dumped. And it hurts.

    No, it was NOT PMS on my part - it was just recent experiences colouring or clouding my vision.

    Stace: Me too! He's a nice guy and we both want to give this a chance, albeit at a very slow pace due to his schedule for the next few weeks. We will both be on the alert for things like this in the future, I can tell you!

  6. Thanks for the Poutine and Poulaine clarification over at MJ's. There is also a Poulan, a chainsaw, but I know better than to give her one of those.

  7. XL: You are most welcome. Here in Winnipeg we have Poulin's - a local exterminator, and one of the family members is actually on our local baseball team - the Goldeyes (that's a fish in these parts). He's good too, is young Max. So the confusion is quite understandable.

    And no, a chainsaw in MJ's hands would probably not be a good thing....

  8. Well, in time, you, too will look back and laugh about this. Stuff happens. Glad it worked out, and you learned (and reaffirmed) just where you are and where you need to be.

  9. Eros: we have laughed about it, but it sure was bad timing! Trying to start a relationship, and to have something else throw a monkey wrench into it like that, just wasn't a good thing. I just hope it didn't do any permanent damage - my getting bent out of shape, that is.... time will tell.

  10. I've tried hard to discipline myself to never make decisions when blood runs hot and emotions roil. I fail (a bit too often), but I know that it's best most times to sit and pondercate a while.

    Patience is a virtue, eh?

  11. Jonas: It is a virtue, but in short supply when you've been burned in this manner in the past. But I did jump to conclusions a bit quickly. We'll see what happens....

  12. "Jumpgunning gunjump" sounds like a serious skating figure.

  13. Mago: Yeah - kinda like a double axle triple toe loop or some such thing.... I will probably fall flat on my arse on the ice... :(


thoughts floated through the ether...