Thursday, December 4, 2008


Isn't that a line from an old Guess Who song?

No time left for you....

Well, my new man friend and I sat and ate nachos this evening and yakked - about all kinds of stuff, most of it just silly, day to day stuff, nothing important.

But we did get to the important stuff - like where things were going. And despite the fact that I like this guy and would like to see things go somewhere, at this point in time, that is not going to happen.

As he says, he has to get his sh*t together a lot more before he can deal with starting a relationship. And, he says, smiling sadly, he's got way too much sh*t!

He is taking a bunch of courses at the local community college, sponsored by his employer. He figured it would be a walk in the park, because he already knew about 80% of what he needed to know for his job. Well, it turns out there is all kinds of content in the curriculum that he doesn't need but is being taught anyway. So it has turned out to be a hell of a lot of work. And, of course, more stress.

Plus the ex is a handful, what with being very uncooperative with family mediation.... trying to get things settled to where they can both carry on with their lives and have the issue of the kids in a routine that works for both of them.

At this point he just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and doesn't have the time or energy to put into a relationship.

So he realizes that this has been unfair, with me waiting to see what will happen. He has been open and honest with me, talked with much candor about how things are and how he feels.

He doesn't like this either but at this point, can't do much about it.

So we are going to just be friends, and keep in touch on occasion.

I was actually surprised - we both were - at how easy it was to talk about this and just make a decision on what to do with the situation. We both needed something a little more concrete and we both agreed on the same thing. And despite the fact that the decision made wasn't what I wanted, it was a relief to just make one.... he said the same thing.

Who know what life will be like, say, six months from now. We may both still be single and then he may be in a position to put the effort into a real relationship. Or we may both find someone else, and just remain friends.

Hard to say.... only time will tell.


  1. Things must be spoken out. That is good, the situation is cleared. And no more "waiting for" but living on.
    Hope it is all bearable.

  2. Mago: Yes, things did need to be spoken and were. It is bearable despite not being what I wanted. Life goes on.

  3. Well, I'm glad you're okay, and now you don't have to worry. Life is for living, not worrying; and you're making the most of life. That's good. But like you said, at least you both understand where you stand, and that you're remaining friends. Who knows what the future can bring. Just enjoy everyday you're alive.

  4. Thanks, Eros, but it has me somewhat sad.... You are very right, though: who knows what the future holds - for either of us. It may come to be yet.

  5. Sounds like you both handled this with maturity and mutual respect. What more can one ask? I wish him much luck with dealing with all her has going on. He is lucky to have a friend like you.

  6. Anna: He is a really good guy, and even if we are only ever friends, I will be honoured to be that.

  7. Tomorrow I hope to find an apartment for my self for the rest of my stay in Holland. Then I'll really, properly, totally be on my own. for the past year I've been living in the same house as my ex, but this will be the real separation.

    It's not pleasant this whole breakup thing, is it?

  8. Fam: Wow... living for a year with your ex... I could not have done that - when my ex and I split 1 1/2 years ago, I moved out in less than a month. Had to get away. Breaking up is hard to do.... another line from another song.

    Good luck with the apartment hunting. I will keep my fingers crossed for you - you just make sure your eyes are uncrossed!

    This time, with this man, wasn't even a break up because we hadn't even really been dating yet. It has made me feel sad, though. But we have gotten to know each other enough to know that if things settle for him, we will be in contact again. I am keeping my fingers crossed for that too. ;-)

  9. sad .. but good to keep doors open. Best wishes


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